Arrow to the Heart
by YaoiMandel
Summary: The only reason Sephora Wilson survives in this world is because she doesn't get too close. To the undead nor the living. She had already lost her entire family and then some, her life slipping away. But when life takes an unexpected turn, a certain Redneck begins to wedge himself between her feelings and her conscious. One arrow at a time... Takes place in the third season of TWD.
1. Chapter One

_Day 311:_

 _I'm back again. This time I'm alone. Keith died last week in the abandoned liquor store just a few miles from here. We were overrun. We knew we would be just by the looks of the place. We just wanted to fool ourselves into thinking that there was a place that could be safe. All the doors were busted in and the place picked clean. There were stairs leading to a small room on another floor. We stayed clear of the upstairs. Didn't search it at all but the door seemed to be sealed closed so we didn't worry about it. The windows we nailed shut and we thought we'd be safe. So we barricaded the doors and took shifts on lookout. Keith must've fell asleep cause they crept in on us. They came from the only place we didn't check. I don't know how long they were up there, but damn they were hungry. A Biter caught on to his leg and took some of him right in front of me. Then four were on him and he screamed for me to help him. But I couldn't kid myself anymore. He was already gone. The only thing I could do was raise my gun and aim it in between his eyes and pull the-_

A noise outside brought me back into reality. I silently wiped at my tear stained checks and waited until I heard the noise again. Laying my book on the ground I stood up; grabbing my pistol off of the floor, and walking towards the only door in the small cabin. I open it slowly and peek my head through the opening which allowed streams of sunlight to kiss my tan cheeks. Looking up into the overcast sky, I see the sun for a few seconds, squinting my eyes in moment and watch it as it takes refuge behind the gray-white clouds.

I look back towards the wooded area behind me as the shrubbery begins to shake. Holding the gun steadily in my hands, I creep towards it making not a sound. The shaking stops, and I start to feel the anxiety building up in my veins as it so often does. My foot moves over the bush to push it aside and a small rabbit hops out standing on top of one of my boots.

"Dammit bunny. You made me nervous for a minute." I sigh a breath of relief as I look at its small stature and cock my head to the side. Pulling the knife out of my waistband, I make quick work of killing it and I pick it up to more closely examine it. I smirk in admiration of myself and walk back into the cabin. My knife quickly cuts into the rabbit, skinning the fluffy white fur and staining it red in the process.

The sun comes out again as I sit by a small fire, roasting the carcass on a stick. Even the crackling of the skin makes my mouth water and I brush black tresses out of my face before taking the rabbit out of the fire. I lick my dry lips before bringing the charred meat to my mouth. The only thing that stops me is a light humming sound in the distance. I turn towards the cabin, checking for any unwelcome visitors, but I find nothing. Closing my eyes, the humming overtakes my senses. It's something strange. Like it has a vague familiarity to it. The vibration from the noise become louder, more intense. I can only assume it's getting closer. My eyes open as I run into the cabin and grab anything that's worth grabbing. My jacket and other shirt. The few can goods I found. My book. Exiting the cabin, I put all these things along with the rabbit wrapped in a cloth in the backpack I found and I close my eyes again. The sound drives me crazy. It's like I know what it is, I just can't put my finger on it. I open my eyes as it suddenly come to me. A car. Several of them.

I abruptly break of in a sprint towards the humming of the cars' engines only fueled by the hope that they'll take me in. I continue to run as if my life depends on it. In a way it actually does.

 _"Sephora_ _stop."_ A voice says as a stop in tracks, nearly falling to the ground.

"K-Keith?" My eyes widens as I take the gun out of the holster on my thigh, pointing it out in the deserted vastness of the forest.

 _"Sephora don't be stupid. You're going out on a whim here. No need you dying either. You should go back to that room of yours. It was small. Comfy."_ The voice replies, seeming as if it was echoing off the still trees.

"Keith…" I say hesitantly whilst looking all about. "I thought you were-"

"Dead?" He interrupts, "Yeah I am, but I'm only part of your subconscious. That's what you get for having a twin." I lower my gun, putting it back into the holster. I lose my composer as I fall to my knees, my hands in my face and tears burning as they fall from my eyes. _'Don't do this. D-don't do this to me. Pull it together!'_ I hear myself chanting softly. Not to anyone in particular. Only to myself. Because even with him in my head, I felt alone. And without me even realizing it I was sobbing loudly.

" _Baby sis, you need to calm down before to bring unwanted attention. I'm telling you, go back to the cabin. This idea you make up in your mind won't work. You know it won't work."_ Keith said, his voice seeming so close, I feel as though I could touch it. I know he's right. Out of everything I've been through; all the pain and loss I've endured, company was probably the last thing I needed. But as the roar of the engines become unbearably painful to hear; I get on my feet and start running again, both the weight of my backpack and my brother hangs on my shoulders. My feet stops as soon as it hits pavement and I look down, noticing that I was no longer on the grass that stretched on for miles.

I gaze up seeing the sun retreating behind the clouds again, the overcast sky hiding the sun's brilliant rays from reaching the ground. The atmosphere seemed so heavy now. Like all my problems were piling up on my lungs, prohibiting me from breathing. It hurt so much but it felt normal, almost like this was how it was supposed to be. And just when I started to get used to it, in the distance I saw there were three or four cars. Coming straight at me. And just like that, the atmosphere became even harder to bare. I closed my eyes and said a silent prayer. To whom? I didn't know. Anyone who cared enough to listen I guess. When the cars came closer I saw something in front of them, something with an engine that was louder than all the cars combined. Then they all slowed to a stop in front of me. I didn't know if they would be friendly or not. Or if they'd be who they would soon say they are.

But all I know is, the guy on the motorcycle with the angel winged vest did not look like an angel…


	2. Chapter Two

"Alright, hands where I can see 'em!" The man yelled, drawing a crossbow that only moments ago was on his back. My hand was resting on the pistol in my holster, but before I could even react, people were getting out of the cars behind the man and aiming their guns at me. In only what seemed like a few seconds, I was staring down maybe ten barrels that could easily rip through my flesh at any time. My hands crept up beside my head and I looked at each and every person there.

 _"Holy shit Phora…"_ Keith chimed in the back of my head, in almost a disappointed tone. _"What the hell did you just get us into?"_

"Shut up, I'll handle this." I mumble a little too loudly into my shoulder. I raise my head to look at the people in front of me. I first notice the redneck on the bike who looks just a bit too intimidating. Then a man with a silencer on his pistol, briskly advancing towards me. A young looking guy who was unmistakably Asian. An older man with snow white hair held in a ponytail. Two girls; a blond and brunette who stood side by side, who were most likely sisters. A woman and a man standing off to the side. A really young boy who couldn't have been even thirteen years old who didn't seem to be armed or dangerous. Regardless of that fact, they all had guns raised at me.

"The hell did you say to me?" The redneck asked, getting off his bike in the process whilst keeping his bow trained on me.

"Not a damn thing." I counter still having my hands raised.

"What you doin' out here in these parts? You by yourself?" A man in a brown jacket asked, his eyebrows raised and one of his hands on his hip, resting on a gun in a holster quite like mine.

"I'm alone." I said, worried of what they could do.

"Alone. You don't have a group you're with?" He pressed looking around into the deep woods.

"No, I'm just passing through."

"Yeah well why don't you keep on passing." The redneck sneered his eyes not leaving mine for a second.

"Daryl…" A lady behind him said cautiously easing close to him.

"Listen I was just in the woods and I heard your cars. I don't know, I just thought-"

"You thought what?" The man neared, his brown hair short but growing, and his beard was obviously become fuller. "There's nothing for you here. You need to leave"

"Rick, she's all alone." The same woman says to him as she lowers her voice to discuss my impending fate with Rick who was probably the leader of the group. Everyone else lowered their weapons, eliminating me from being any type of threat. Everyone except for Daryl who stayed keen on the idea that I would try something. I looked down at my boots and laid my hands on my knees, still trying to catch my breath from the trek I made getting here in the first place. My eyes closed as frustration coursed through me. This was what Keith was talking about. He knew what was best for me. And I blatantly ignored him like I was always used to doing.

 _"See this is what I was afraid of. Now look at yourself. You're disappointed. You should've listen Phora."_ He added, his voice fading into the void in the back of my subconscious.

"I get it alright!?" I yell to Keith my anger rising with every moment that passed. I don't think it was him I was mad at, I was mad at myself. Even though I was warned of how this was going to go down, I just did what I did best. I took my chances. Finally looking up, I take my hands off of my knees, only to be met by nine pairs of eyes. It took me a while to understand that my outburst did not go unnoticed; partly because of the silence that followed right after and partly due to the fact that all of their guns found their way back to my chest.

I held my hands up in defense while shifting my eye back and forth from Rick and Daryl. They didn't say anything, or make a move to do so. I sighed in defeat and looked around at the surrounding area, my eyes catching a sliver of something shining in the brief sunlight that graced the land below. I looked back to Rick and Daryl and they shifted uncomfortably; seemingly not knowing what to do nor say next. Lucky for them I gave in and backed up so signify I was leaving. It was obvious I was not wanted here, with these people. "I understand… completely. Sorry to have wasted your time." I muttered.

Rick only nodded and his hand kept at his waist, while Daryl kept on pointing his crossbow at my head. I shook with displeasure and ran as soon I was concealed within the thick green trees surrounding the desolate road. I slowed suddenly, the same glistening object catching my eye once more. Curiosity got the best of me as I headed in that direction; low tree branches and bushes scratching my head and toes in the process. I began to walk faster, which quickly became a soft run, as the silvery surface of whatever it was began to get closer and closer.

Before I knew it, the trees were behind me and I found myself in a clearing. I instantly became motionless as the silver of a fence showed as clear as day, fencing off maybe thirty or forty biters.

And behind them was a huge, abandoned prison.


	3. Chapter Three

**Sorry for the very long hiatus but I had some personal problem I had to work on before I could start writing again. So I hope you all like the chapter!**

I had stopped dead in my tracks and admired the view in front of me. My feet seemed to be rooted to the ground; I couldn't move for some reason. The whole place felt like a mirage, a place I'd think was safe and then out of nowhere, it was just disappear. Something about the whole thing just felt too convenient for me to be comfortable with. When I finally found the courage to move, the clouds covered the sky again, shielding the sun from my sweating skin and heaving chest. As my feet inched closer to the gated prison, I began to hear the low moans and growls of the unlucky prisoners that couldn't make it out before shit hit the fan.

" _Jesus Phor. Look at this. You think this is safe?"_ Keith asked, as if to question my judgment.

"Well, right now I'm having a conversation with my DEAD brother, I'm to figure out if I should stay so close to a group with whom I'm guessing has more than fifteen guns and fifteen people, and I only have a few cans of food and a burnt rabbit in my backpack. I don't think I'm in the right mindset to even comprehend what safe is nor do I want to waste the time doing so," I quietly hiss, not wanting to attract attention from either the living or the dead. I continued to walk towards the gate and I peered in. this placed look like it hasn't been touched since everything went bad. I had looked up towards the sky and concluded that the fence couldn't have been any more than twelve feet in the air.

Well within my climbing range.

Wiping my sweaty hands on my tattered jeans, I began to climb up the fence, all while the cloud parted again and the sun shone again on my already wet shirt. Making my way up the fence didn't cause me any issue, but when I got to the barbed wire at the top of the fence I tried to maneuver myself over it. Just when I thought I was okay to make my way down, my jeans got caught on loose wire and had cut deep into my mid-thigh. My only instinct was to grab the nearest thing, which was unfortunately the barbed wire.

"Ahhh goddammit, fucking hell!" I yelled, my voice only slightly muffled by my gritted teeth. The feeling of a warmth moisture began to flow down my arm and my pants and I looked down, only to be met by the sight of blood seeping through a gash in my leg. Pressing one hand to my leg, I tried to stop the blood that profoundly kept up at an alarming rate. When I felt my other hand slipping from the top of the gate, mostly due to the intense pain of the barbs in my hand, I tried to reach with my other to keep me steady. But with it being covered in blood, I slipped and fell the agonizing twelve feet and landed on my arm with a sickening distinct popping sound.

" _This is why mom and dad kept the house child proofed until we were twelve…"_ The voice taunted in the back of my head. I had come up with something witty to say back, but I didn't have the energy to. I grudgingly pulled myself up and took my shirt off, ripping it in two as best as I could, and quickly and tightly tying it around my bleeding leg cringing in the process. Then made quick work of my hand: tying around my cuts and then over my shoulder to hold it in place, but before I could finish tying the splint around my arm, I heard the fence give a little as biters began to line up, most likely smelling the blood that soaked through my now ruined shirt.

I rushed farther back to the opposite fence with my knife in hand; my breath quickening with every noise they made, but I quickly let my guard down, sighing a breath of relief. They weren't going anywhere. They was trapped within the confines of the inner field. Putting my hands on the dry gravel I braced myself to stand, despite the burning in my wounds pleading with me not to. As soon as my feet were firmly on the ground the gash on my leg began bleeding again which quickly bled through the poor excuse for a tourniquet. When I reached the end of the narrow path made by the parallel fences I noticed that it was the last barrier between me and the biters that peppered the brown-greenish field.

" _Sephora please don't tell me you're going in there. You aren't. . . are you?"_

"Right Keith, I climbed the fence, injured myself, and ruined my shirt just to pussy out and go back in the woods." I say into the uncomfortable silence as I moved to pick off the closet biters though the fence.

" _No you're not thinking straight. Going in there is suicide and you know it._ " His voice trails off into the back of my brain once more as I kill the last biter close to me. I ponder his words of a minute and I know he's right. Even from the grave he still somehow manages to look out for me. I slowly closed my eyes and remembered all the times he's had my back; kept me out from getting in trouble, or even the times when he'd just hold me at night when I had nightmares telling me it was gonna be okay.

I suddenly was reminded of the night I almost got arrested when I was seventeen. I'd been kicked out after an argument with dad about my grades went south way too quickly for me to comprehend. All I remember was him yell at me getting way too close. Then me yelling at him. Then...

" _What is with you? You and Mom are always on my ass about the littlest things." I spat at my father while I continued to pack my bag full of clothes while Keith and mom were watching the entire situation unfold._

" _You are MY child and your mother and I will talk to you however we damn well please! What has gotten into you, you have three F's and I want to know why." He kept stalking over to me, even after my efforts to get away from him._

 _"Doesn't matter what I tell you, you're just gonna ground me anyways. So why don't you do us all a favor and get to the chase would you?"_

" _Sephora…" Keith started as he stood and walked over to me._

" _No son," Dad uttered through his clenched jaw, "It's obvious your sister has some stuff she'd like to get off her chest." he put his hands in the air as to signify that everyone was listening._

" _Yeah I do." I said as I looked at my father's expression. It had no trace of the expression he gets when he looks at mom or Keith. An expression that shows of love and admiration. An expression of pride and happiness. But the expression he had when he looked at me. Regret to say the least. Hate. Loathing. Embarrassment. An expression I knew very well. It was the same he wore at that moment. Then I looked to my mother. Her sandy blond hair shook as she looked at me with disappointment; her arms crossed in front of her chest. Then finally I looked to Keith. Who wore an expression I couldn't understand. I frowned slightly. Normally I could read him like an open book. I gave him one more pleading look before sighing loudly._

" _I have hated being the way I am. I try and I try to do what you want me to do but it's never enough for you. You always want more from me than I am able to give." I say softly before zipping up the bag and slugging it over my shoulder._

" _Just because you have this disease doesn't give you the excuse to be any less than perfect!" Dad said with a snark that made me flinch. At that moment I cracked._

" _I have dyslexia dad I'm not fucking Superwoman!" I screamed with tears flowing down my face. "No amount of tutors or therapy is gonna change that. And the fact that you constantly give me shit about something I can't control… it hurts Dad."_

" _Sephora Josephine Wilson we've been nothing but supportive to you. But you make it hard to do that when you're nothing but a little brat who goes out and acts like a whore when you aren't drunk out of your mind!" He stepped closer until our faces were mere feet apart._

 _I am not a whore. If you'd actually take time to acknowledge the fact that you don't know your daughter at all beyond her name and birthday maybe you'd know I'm not that type of person. And I got drunk once. At a party with Keith, who was also equally drunk out of his mind. Did you give him shit for that? Huh?" I waited for an answer but when I didn't get one I continued. "No you didn't. You gave him one of those 'Don't do it again' looks and sent him on his merry way. And while we're on the subject let's talk about Keith for a moment."_

" _Phor..." Keith got out before I interrupted him._

" _Cause let's face it, a complete stranger could clearly see that you and mom have a favorite child, and it's never been me. I hate that I'm treated like the fucking stepchild and he's alway put on the damn pedestal like a god. Alright, it's bullshit!" I was able to get out before dad's closed fist made contact to my eye. I stumbled back before I fell to the ground cupping my face and I looked up at him; his fist clenched and jaw tight. I heard my mother's gasp and the fast clicking of her heels as she left the room crying. Keith rushed to me, move my hand and looked at my eye which I could only guess was swelling and turning a sickening blue color. He began stroking my hair and whispering in my ear that it was okay, that dad would calm down, and this would all be forgotten. This became a ritual for him when dad started hitting me more often. He kept a brave face for me but I could tell he was in just as much pain as I was._

" _Get out." He had said with a voice so low I thought he was growling. I had been so shocked that I stood and pushed past him, barely hearing my brother calling after me. I should've said something to Keith, or at least I should've had the courage to turn and look him in the eyes. Had I done that I would've seen that he was crying into his hands on the floor; I of course heard him but had I stopped to look I probably wouldn't had left in the first place. In which then my near arrest would have never been made. In hindsight it was the most reasonable thing I could have done. But at that point I was beyond being reasonable and had gotten on my Yamaha and rode off without even the slightest of goodbyes._

I touched the part of my face that was once bruised for a month as the painful memory vanished back into a place where it will hopefully be forgotten. The feeling of a lonely tear falling down my face brings me back to the present and despite Keith's ramblings in my head, I don't listen to my better judgement and begin painfully climbing the last barrier between me and the dead.


	4. Chapter Four

Surprisingly the climb up and down the last fence was easier than the first. Couldn't explain why, but the vast noises in the outskirts of the field told me that I couldn't dwell on the situation for too long. I limped as quietly as I could across the field to the nearest cell tower and tried at the doorknob which to my disappointment was locked. I turned into the inner field that held the majority of the biters. A part was sectioned off; almost like a walkway, which connected to a door leading into the prison. It seemed so far away, yet it was so close, and the only thing keeping me from it was the sea of lifeless bodies moaning and groaning for their next meal. The door wasn't that far away from where I stood. Surely I could run past and get there easily. I contemplated this for a few minutes before I heard the faintest of noises that seemed to vary from the others. Almost sounded like people talking, or more so shushing each other. I backed up against the tower walking to the corner and looked past noticing people running along the inside of the fences.

"Dammit," I whispered, closing my eyes and hitting my head against the wall in defeat. When my eyes opened I was met with the sight of three or so biter inching towards me. I unsheathe my gun, but quickly decided against it knowing it would surely get the attention of the people making their way towards me. I was able to take them down, not as easy as I usually do, but my injuries were hindering my tremendously. Just as the last biter near me dropped to the ground, others took notice.

" _Well… shit Sephora." Keith mumbled in my head._

I tried the door again and again until I decided to bite the bullet and kick it in with my good leg. It took a few times but as soon as it opened I flew inside and shut the door putting a chair underneath the knob. The pounds and scratches echoed in my ears as the biters surrounded the tower. Sighing a breath of relief, I slid down the door and starting counting back from ten, just as my therapist taught me to do.

"Ten, nine, eight seven, six..." I stopped when I heard the first gunshot. I held my breath until I heard a second. Then a third and so on. Then I heard voices. They were screaming; not in agony like one would if a flesh eating monster were snacking on their legs, but it sounded like they were getting their attention. 'Over here!' 'Hey, right here!' 'This way!' They just kept shouting and the bullets kept being fired. At one point the biters from outside the door went away, probably to the people.

"Five, four…" I stopped again, this time hearing a low growl from inside the tiny room. It was extremely dark, I couldn't even see my hand in front of my face. But all at once I felt a pair of hands on me that pushed me to the floor. My leg had began bleeding again as I fell again the ground. I tried to muffle my screams as I fought with the biter on top of me, pushing it away. It wasn't biting or scratching me, but I knew if given the chance it would have gladly ripped into me. I searched the darkened floor for my knife while the biter was still recovering. I felt the blade of the knife graze my hand and I grabbed it roughly, wincing as it cut through my skin. The biter had gripped onto my shoulder and I turned, trying to stab it in the head when I felt resistance. My knife was hitting something hard. Then It dawned on me that it was wearing a helmet. It was probably in the military or special ops when the world went to hell. That's why it wasn't biting me. It couldn't bite me with that thing on. After I get a good hold on the biter I pushed the helmet off and struck it in the skull. It slumped dead in my lap and I let out a few uneven breathes.

I stood up and looked around. After my eyes adjusted I saw a desk, the chair underneath the door and a ladder, leading to the top of the tower. I started climbing the ladder when I heard gunshots coming closer and closer. As soon as I got to the top and into the top of the tower I backed up to the neared wall drawing my gun and pointing it to the hole in the floor where I came up. Back down where I was I heard the gun open and my breath hitched in the back of my throat. Then the door shut and whoever was down there start making their way up. I stood and moved as far as I could before the person emerged from the hole and drew his gun.

"I thought we told told you we had nothing for you." The man spoke, who I remembered to be Rick.

"I wasn't following you, I was here first." I said back, my bleeding hand holding my gun pointed directly between his eyes. Rick didn't say anything, he just stared with his rifle in hand standing his ground. We stayed like that for a good minute before the gunfire ceased.

"Outside, now." He said roughly before he moved from by the ladder.

"I'm not going anywhere." I retaliated. The uncertainty in my voice heard by the both of us.

"There's only one of you. You know how many people I have down there? You wouldn't stand a chance." He moved towards me. I moved farther from him and looked out the window seeing everyone I saw on that road, guns in their hands and smiles plastered on their faces. There was no need fighting with Rick, I was greatly outnumbered.

He came closer and took my gun out of my hands and pushed me towards the ladder. As I climbed down he held his gun trained on me the entire time.

"You try anything, I won't hesitate to kill you." He declared before opening the door, signaling me to leave. I limped out and shielded my eyes from the light. Rick tapped on my back with the end of his rifle urging me to move as he walked behind me towards the rest of his group. I heard the laughter from everyone, clearly happy that they cleared the field, but it died down when they saw Rick with his gun pointed at me. And like déjà vu, everyone's guns were pointed at me.

"Found her in the watch tower. She must've been the one who killed the walkers by the gates."

"What are you going to do with her?" The older woman I remember from before asked, her gun by her side unlike everyone else.

"Why don't we just send her on her way? We claimed this field it's ours." Daryl responded, his crossbow at my chest and his voice rough and deep.

"Isn't that what we did last time? All she did was come back. She'd do it again." Rick said, his gun still at my back.

"Would you all stop talking about me like I'm not fucking standing right here?!" I shouted. They all got silent and stared at me like I was a biter. "Why don't I just leave? Make it easier for all of us." I tried to move but the noise of their guns cocking stopped me. I began to feel lightheaded as I looked around at the people in front of me, their faces filled with the fear of the unknown. Rocking back and forth, my hand found its way to my leg which hadn't stopped bleeding since I killed the biter in the tower.

" _You never listen Phor, You never do…"_ Keith's voice rung as my eyelids began to get heavy. Then all at once the world went black and the only sound I heard was the harsh thud of my body hitting the ground.


	5. Chapter Five

**Before y'all read I just wanna say I'm sorry for the wait. I had writer's block like you wouldn't believe and PT is really taking all my energy away. But here it is. Finally a longer chapter lol.**

Chapter Five

" _Phora if you'd relax, this would be so much easier."_ _Julian_ _asked, his southern accent rolling off his tongue as he pressed the ice pack to my eye. I winced and bit my bottom lip so I could stay still while he helped me with my eye._

" _Just shut up and give me my drink Stevenson." I groaned as I moved from the dusty counter top and sat on an old milk crate. Julian sighed and tossed the Jack Daniels across the candlelit room. I would've been able to catch it easily if one of my eyes wasn't swollen shut. The bottle fell to the ground with a crash and shattered into a thousand pieces. I looked up at him and glared at him,"The hell was that for?!" I saw him tense before stalking towards me until he knelled in front of me with the rubbing alcohol and a damp rag._

" _Would you stop it? God, it's the same every time. He hits you. You call me. We come here and you try to get drunk. This gotta stop." He says clearly tired while he tilts the bottle and wets the cloth with the alcohol. Julian looked at me and his face softened, "This is gonna hurt, alright?" He whispered and I nodded. I've somewhat gotten used to the sting. He dabbed around the area of my eye, ridding it of the dried blood that was there while I sat there unable to look him in the eyes. Just like Keith, Julian helped me when things got messy at home. He was always there when I needed him. He'd been my best friend since third grade when he took the fall for "accidentally cutting" Cathy Marsh's hair when I'd "accidentally" stuck gum in it. I didn't understand why he did it; he had only moved from Tennessee to my hometown in Cleveland only three weeks prior. After that we were damn near inseparable, which didn't sit well with my father since "girls didn't have boy best friends". Man was he wrong. To this day we've done everything together._

 _Julian had started to bandage my eye when he began quietly talking again, so softly in fact that had it not silent in the first place I would've missed what he was saying._

" _I'm sorry Sephora. It's j-just," He placed his hand on my thigh and looked down. I tensed at the sudden contact. I shouldn't have, he's just my best friend. My incredibly sweet and... handsome best friend. I mentally slapped myself and I heard him continue. "I hate seeing you like this. All battered 'n bruised. You shouldn't have to live like this." When I didn't reply he looked up and continued to patch me up. "You shouldn't have to come 'n hide in the Fort for goodness sake!" He angrily referred to the name we gave the abandoned brewery we found when our families went camping together. It had been there since the the late 1800s and was wrapped and covered in vines and leaves. Every year when we were younger; Julian, Keith, and I would go and play pretend superheroes and whatnot when our families went camping. But as of late, the Fort became a frequent meeting place for me and Julian._

 _I had been so caught up in my thoughts, I hadn't realized that he had punched the corroded wall or that he was yelling._

" _I'm sick of this shit! God, I could kill him" He wiped his bloody knuckle on his shirt and began walking towards the door-less door frame. I quickly stood up and grabbed his arm pulling him to me. When he turned, his face was near mine; too close than what I'm comfortable with. He was much taller than me though. His six foot three frame towering over my five foot eight body. His chest was heaving with anger as he looked at me._

" _Sit." I whispered as pushed him down to sit on the milk-crate. To my surprise, he obliged keeping his head down and running his hands through his curly, brown hair. I took the rag and alcohol he used and knelled in front of him like he did with me. I began cleaning his knuckles when I felt his eyes on me. I had looked at him in his blue eyes as my motions slowed to a stop. "What?"_

" _Why does it always come to this? Us here, both hurt, barely buzzed, tending to each other's wounds?" He inquired, his eyes not leaving mine for a second. My gaze then drops from his eye to his lips, then back up again. I try to focus on his knuckles, but my resolve starts slipping and I begin to lose the internal battle between my mind and my heart. As soon as my mind gave in and said "fuck it", I leaned in and placed my lips on his. At first kiss was timid and simple, but after Julian got over the initial shock, he started to kiss me back with vigor. His lips moving with mine like a dance we both knew by heart. He then stood up, impressively not breaking the kiss and grabbed at my waist tightly before backing me up against the nearest wall. I heard a few things fall to the floor but in the moment it felt as if nothing else mattered. My arms wrapped around his neck as he lifted me off the ground; my legs wrapping around his waist in the process. I felt disappointed when the need to breathe became too much, but I pulled away; my chest rising and falling heavily. We stared at each other for what seemed like a lifetime. The only sound was the shallow breaths we were taking. I was just as lost in his eyes as seemed he was in mine. I didn't want it to end._

" _Sephora you… I… w-we can't-"_

" _Julian please." I cut him off, sounding more desperate and broken than I ever have. "I need this. I- I need you."_

 _He looked down almost as if he was contemplating his choices. Just when I thought I blew our entire eleven year friendship because of a few moments of bad decisions, he looked up again and kissed me with more passion and drive than before. I moaned against kiss lips as he somehow ended up getting us both on the ground with him on top of me. We stayed like that until his hands went underneath my shirt and unclasped my bra. The only thing on my mind was him and nothing else._

 _Too bad I was because if I hadn't been so caught up in the feel of his lips on my neck or his chest pressed against mine, I probably would've saw the lit candle that had fallen dangerously close to the broken bottle of whiskey._

* * *

Sometime during the day I began to go in and out of consciousness. My head throbbed in a rhythmic beat and my entire body burned of pain and tiredness. I tried to open my eyes but they stubbornly stayed shut, wanting to stay in the comforting darkness a few minutes more. Just as my mind starting functioning like it should I heard voices not too far from where I was.

"We can't let her go again, what if she really does have a group?" Rick asked in a hushed manner.

"Well, I sure as hell don't want to keep her around to find out." Daryl sneered, slinging his bow on his shoulder.

"Are we really having a discussion about this," A man said with a voice I don't particularly recognize. "She need our help regardless. She's hungry and she's hurt."

"Glenn, she could be dangerous." Rick tried to reason with him.

"She may not be. I mean we weren't exactly welcoming when she came out of the woods."

"Get your head outta your ass." Daryl said harshly before continuing, "We don't know anything about this girl. The sooner she leaves the better."

"We didn't know anything about Hershel, or Otis, or Patricia, or-"

"That was different Glenn." Rick responded defensively. "Carl got shot. He was hurt."

"So is she." Glenn replied. The silence that followed seemed to last a lifetime before someone spoke up.

"Fine. She stays for now."

"You have got to be fuckin jokin'." Daryl hissed out.

"No, just think." Rick eerily whispered before he continued, "If we can get into the prison she can help us clear a cell block."

"Why would she help us after all of this?" Glenn questioned Rick. The voice I heard after wasn't one I heard before. It was dark and disturbed. My fear mixed with the sinking feeling of impending unconsciousness drove me crazy as his next few words filled my mouth with a bitter taste.

"Because she expendable and got nowhere to go…"

* * *

-I had woken up to the sound of a crackling fire and the small whisper of voices through the yard. I tried to move my arms to rub at my eyes to see better, but my arms were tied behind my back and through the fence. Panicking, I struggled against the restraints, pulling them in each and every direction.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you girl." I heard the voice before I saw the person behind it.

"Where are you?" I asked softly, my voice wavering a bit. I heard a whistle and I look up, seeing only a silhouette. If the moon wasn't so bright in the sky and if he didn't have a crossbow pointed at me the I probably wouldn't have known who it was. "Why am I tied up?" I asked, trying not to sound afraid.

"We don't know you." Daryl simply said, almost nonchalantly. I tried moving my hands back and forth but the more I moved the more my wrist began to hurt.

"This is bullshit." I said to myself feeling defeated.

" _No this is what happens when you don't listen to big brother."_ Keith taunted. His voice was becoming a constant reminder of all my failures up to this point. I shook and lowered my head in disappointment.

A figure then started towards me and Daryl, moving at a constant pace with various things in their hands. Because of the moonlight I was able to see that the person was female with short, gray hair. She walked towards us and nodded to Daryl, who nodded back before he started back watch. She walked until she was right in front of me.

"Hey, I… um, I brought you something to eat." She said awkwardly as she held a bowl of less than twenty beans and a small piece meat. "Well actually I came here on behalf of everyone to thank you for the food…" She trailed off and I thought for a moment. It was then that I realized that they had taken the food in my backpack; the only food I had left, and ate it. My eyes welled up behind my black bangs and I heard her continue. "I know you didn't particularly give it to us, and I wish everything could be different, but I got you what I could." She held a tarnished spoon up too my lips to feed me but I kept my mouth shut. She sighed and spoke, "Honey you have to eat some-"

"You had no right." I whispered. I kept my teeth clenched while I glared at her through my tears.

"You have to understand I tried-" She began speaking but once again I cut her off.

"No. You all had no right to take my food. You had no right to chain me here like a fucking animal. "I spat out with venom. "All of you," I paused as I looked towards the group. Most were sitting around the fire, eating and talking and laughing, enjoying themselves. I glanced back at the woman in front of me; Carol I remember her from before, and spoke, "You all, are killing me."

She closed her eyes and quietly apologized before standing up and walking over to the truck Daryl was standing on, climbed up, gave him some food, and starting talking. She then rubbed her shoulder, talked with him some more, and then he started massaging her back. The sudden action made my heart hurt and ache. It reminded me of something Julian would've done for me. I had finally let the stinging tears in my eyes fall. They rolled down my cheeks and fell onto my blood and dust littered lap.

I slowly lifted my legs to my stomach and silently sobbed. I had never felt so alone in my life.


	6. Chapter Six

My red-rimmed eyes stung every time I dared to blink. I couldn't find the will to sleep nor the will to stay awake so there I sat through the night cold and broken. Sooner or later the voices died down, so did the laughter, as well as the fire and eventually almost everyone was sleep besides the periodic switching of "guards".

When the sun finally started to break into the sky, one by one people started to wake, stretching, eating, staring in my direction. I knew they were talking about me, I could see it in their eyes the confusion that clouded their judgement. I tried to look away, hopefully they would do the same, but I still felt their questioning stares burning into my skin.

When my eyelids finally started to fall, I decided to welcome the sleep hopefully it being void of any nightmares that so often plagued me behind my eyes. But before I had the chance to doze off, I felt someone kicking my shoe. First softly but then harder when I refused to look up.

"Get Up." I heard a gruff voice say while untying my arms from the fence and pulling me onto my feet. I stood up and squinted; the sun burning my eyes and partially blinding me. When I had a chance to readjust my eyes I was standing face to face with Rick, who looked to be just as tired as I felt. "I'm only saying this once: don't do anything stupid." He said not as a suggestion but as a command. I continued to look on him, not flinching or moving, challenging him. We stood that way for what seemed like forever until he reached into his pocket ad pulled out a knife. Panic flashed over my eyes for only a moment, but it quickly went away. He then behind me and started cutting the roped around my wrists, gripping my hands harder than he needed to. Once the rope was cut I moved away from him turning around to make sure I was a good enough distance away from him.

I held my wrist in one hand and looked down on them. Both were red, rubbed raw and slightly bleeding. My cut hand, bandaged with a dirty rag that was soaked with my blood. I looked on my leg which was stripped of my ripped shirt and bandaged with the same cloth that rested on my hand.

"We're making our way into the prison today. We only got so many people and this is gonna be dangerous. I just need everyone on the same page." I stood for a moment so many questions running through my head, but my instincts telling me to get as far away from this man as possible. My eyes narrowed when I could finally form a word.

"We?" I asked barely able to hear my own voice.

"As in you and some of our group. When we're done you can go wherever the hell you want."

"I'm leaving now." My voice rose in spite of myself. I moved it seemed only the slightest and in a second I was face to face with Rick, his hand on his gun and his eyes staring into mine.

"Not an option." He whispered knowing I could clearly hear what he was saying. "We're going to clear this place, maybe not today maybe not tomorrow, but this has to happen. Now." He seemed almost growling. His eyes were glazed over with anger and red with exhaustion. I looked him up and down, sizing up my opponent; to see his strengths, find out his weaknesses. When I couldn't find any I nodded, hating myself to a point where I was disgusted to even be in my own body. He then led me up to the others in his group, some resting others preparing to go into the prison. Four people, dive if I counted myself.

"Listen up," Rick started, his hands on his hips and his head held high; honestly looking like a born leader. "When we go in here we can't break ranks, we have to stick together it's the only way." He looked at me and held out his hand which held a large hunting knife. " Surely you know how to use one don't ya?" He asked very condescendingly.

I would've smirked had I not hated every bone in his body. _If only you knew what I was capable of._ I took the knife slowly and slid it in the waist of my jeans hoping I didn't accidentally cut myself in the process. Everyone was staring at me, silently asking, " _What is she doing here?"_ But no one said a word.

"We're going in five. Be ready." Rick said wiping his face and turned to leave. I looked at him, watching him walk away then looked to the ground. I felt them looking into the back of my neck, burning holes into the side of my face and into the tresses of my hair. If I was being completely honest, standing here with these people not saying a word… was kinda fucking awkward. For three minutes; yes I counted, we all stood not knowing what to do or say next.

" _Count Phora,"_ His voice chimed in my head sprung, giving the numb feeling of a headache, " _It always helps."_

 _Ten, nine, eight…_

 _Seve-_

"Hey I'm, uh, I'm Glenn." His voice caught me off guard and I looked glaring at him. "I know we all didn't get off on the right foot but this is my girlfriend, Maggie," He said pulling the woman next to him closer to his side. My heart clenched a little looking at them together, "Him over there, that's T-Dog." I looked over to where his hand was pointing at to see a bald man with dark brown skin and deep eyes. He nodded at me and I turned around to face Glenn again. He seemed like the only one willing to talk to me. " I'm pretty sure you've already met Rick, and last but not least," He paused motioning his head to the side, making me look at the man sitting down maybe ten yards away from us, cleaning some arrows, "That's Daryl."

I had to pull a few loose strains out of my face to get a good look at him. He sat there in a leather vest, picking and cleaning at his arrows one by one. His hair was short and his faced was twisted into a scowl. It looked as if he hadn't taken a shower in months, dirt all over his clothes and arms. His arms, looking though as built with solid iron, defined and taunt, worked quickly and gently on his crossbow. My eyes lingered there longer then what I would've liked and I turned quickly, willing the heat that was creeping onto my face to go away.

"So, what's your name?" He asked with the same spring in his voice as before. I contemplated the question more than I probably should. Should I give them my name? Maybe I shouldn't give them my _real_ name. What do I say? Tell the truth? Give a lie? I never really liked people knowing my real name to begin with.

I've always hated my name. Since day one I can't remember even a day where my name sound even the slightest appealing to me. Sephora Josephine Wilson. Named after a beauty store, my dead great grandmother, and my father's last name that sickens me to my stomach everytime I hear it. I always remembered saying I wanted to change it when I got to be eighteen to Cleo or Nevaeh. Something more… me. But every time Keith called me by any other name then Sephora I wouldn't answer. Once he had slipped in the kitchen and broke his leg, he kept calling me by the names I wanted and I still didn't come until he said Sephora. I was so mad after he told me I gave up entirely. Told him I'd just be the girl with the awkward name. Answering awkward questions when said name was brought up. " _Hey what's your name?" "Sephora." "Oh like the makeup store..?" "That would be correct."_

Still pisses me off till this day.

Just as I was opening my mouth to tell them my name, Rick came up gun in his holster and a machete in his hand. "Everyone ready?" They all nodded and Daryl came up behind him, eerily quiet, scowl still plastered on his face.

"Well 'en, let's get this shit o'er with." He said swinging his crossbow over his shoulders. We all stood by the gate, an older man came to close it when we get inside. Somehow I knew we were all anticipating the worst, but hoping for the best. However the objective was clear.

Open the gate.

Kill the biters.

Clear the inside.

Leave this place behind with everyone in it.

Easy.

When the gate finally open we rushed inside, everyone staying in a circular formation so no point is vulnerable. Rick killed the first. Then Daryl and Maggie soon followed as well and Glenn and T-Dog. Everyone fighting, defending, trying to stay alive. It had all been a shook to my system. I was there but my mind wasn't and in this world that's a dangerous position to be in. In a split second everything felt so new to me. So new and different as if I hadn't been living in this world since it first began.

But then I heard the groans. And the shuffling, and then I woke up. A biter, small but fast coming for Daryl when he was turned around. I reached my hand down to the holster on my thigh forgetting that they had took my gun. I then took out the knife I remembered Rick had given me and threw it. Watching it soar through the air towards one of the biters had seemed almost in slow motion. Nothing was moving until it finally hit.

" _Okay, next time, aim for the tree and not my head dumbass." Julian said holding the knife he barely dodged just seconds ago._

" _It's hopeless!" I yelled running my fingers through my hair. "We've been at this for almost three hours can we go home please?"_

" _Not until you hit the tree at least once." He countered coming towards me. I closed my eyes and loudly sighed knowing he heard it when he chuckled lightly. "Just try one more time." he said somehow he ended up behind me my back against his chest and his arm around my waist. I kept my eyes closed and let him lead me. He took my arm from my side and placed the knife in my hand. "You need to take it by the blade. Carefully bring it back just past your eyes, which needs to be open by the way." I felt my eyes flutter open and look up at him smiling warming. His arms were strong around mine, making me feel small but protected. "When you bring it back make sure you already know you target. Thinkin', feelin', knowin' that you're gonna hit it." He held my arm firm and steady. Then he moved back, let go of me and proceeded to give me the last of instructions._

" _Now let it soar." He whispered. I let loose and threw the knife as hard as I could. It really did fly far and fast past the tree I was trying to hit past many other trees until it was nearing a tree maybe fifty feet away from me. And it flew, and flew, and flew until…_

It hit the biter right in the back of it's head. It slumped down onto the ground as I ran to it.

"Stay tight!"I heard Rick yell as I quickly dealt with other biters that were near and ran back to the group. Like it or not I was in to now, in the middle of it all. And even if I wasn't planning on staying with them I was here, fighting along side with them. I had to stay safe.

And help keep everyone safe also.

The fighting continued. Everyone moving to make a kill. But we all moved together, never letting our guard down for even a second.

"We're almost there."

We got towards a courtyard of sorts, probably one that was used for the prisoners to get some fresh air. When we got close enough to see into the yard, all that was in there were bodies. It looked like so many. So many prisoners that didn't get a chance to see their families before the end came, so many left behind by the army and government before they even knew what was going on. Some of them had on military combat wear. Helmets and all like the one in the tower. But the one thing I noticed that chilled me straight to the bone, was that some of them weren't even wearing the prison issued clothes. Which meant some came from the outside.

One good look at the courtyard and we all pressed against the wall trying hard not to been seen. Yet some started walking towards us. The ones with the gear on. The army that tried to get everybody out, but ended up getting themselves killed. From the corners of my eyes I saw Daryl stalking up, firing an arrow at one of them only for it to be deflected by the helmet. Then Rick began striking at the biter with its helmet still on.

Amateurs.

I walked up to one and lifted the helmet just enough to slip my knife through and kill it dead. I looked at the others almost prideful.

"You see that?" I asked not really wanting an answer. The others behind me began killing the rest of them while Rick, Daryl, and I pulled close to the fence that would close out the courtyard.

"Daryl!" Rick yelled out before tackling one of the biters. He stood up as quickly as he went down and went for the gate, kicking one back into the courtyard and pulling the gate closed. Daryl and I held it closed while Rick chained one side to the other. All around us the rest of them fell to the ground as the remaining ones were killed. Soon we stood looking on at all the bodies that laid lifeless in front of us. We started back towards the front when a voice rung out in the groaned filled silence.

"Stop." Rick said his face full of uncertainty.

"Well it looks secure." Glenn countered, unsure why he couldn't go back to the people in the yard.

"Not from the looks of that courtyard other there." Daryl added pointing over to where we were just at.

"And that's a civilian." My voice surprised me just as much as it did them. I don't know why I had started speaking, hell I didn't want to be in any part of this whatsoever but I couldn't bring myself to stop. "So the interior could be overrun from walkers outside the prison."

"If there are walls down what are we going to do? We can't rebuild this whole place." Glenn said with a worried look on his face now.

"We can risk a blind spot." Rick paused then turned towards an entrance to the prison. "We have to push in." We all began to follow Rick up the metal stairs to a red door. We stopped for a minute until Daryl nodded to Rick and then quickly pulled the door open, his crossbow up and ready. The inside was dark. Ghastly dark actually compared to the light outside, making the inside seem even more mysterious. Once inside, my eye began to adjust to the level of darkness in the room and I saw a large barred gate leading into a larger area with metal tables and concrete walls. There was trash everywhere on the floor; clothes, paper, plastic. Everything one would expect when everyone fleeing from flesh eating monsters. There was a tall tower similar to the one outside with stairs leading up. Rick motioned up there signaling he was going to check it out. We all stayed alert. My eyes stayed darting to and fro hoping nothing came from the darkness.

Damn I wish I still had my gun. I felt safer with it.

Everything was quiet. The silence hurt my ears with and unfathomable ringing that I almost wished to hear the moans from the dead just to know I wasn't going crazy. Then the slight jingle of keys broke the silence and I looked up, seeing Rick looking towards Daryl and he nodded. The silent conversations those two would had will drive me insane.

Wait.

Why would it? I'm leaving as soon as this shit is over. I am I worried about becoming irritated at something I won't be here to witness? Why was I so eager to give my input outside instead of just keeping my mouth shut? And why did I want them to notice me kill the biter with the mask on? What was the purpose of all of that if I didn't want to stay? The only thing that jarred my from my thoughts were the sounds of the keys being put into a door and the loud creaking that followed after when Rick pushed it open. We all went in quickly, our respective weapons at the ready. The stench is what got me first, the overwhelming smell of rotting bodies and blood. Instinctively, I held my hand up to help ward off the smell, even though doing this didn't have much of an affect on anything. I looked through the cell doors into the small room. Most had bodies in them, which explained the smell. Some others that didn't were trashed to all hell, littered with torn clothes, paper, and the occasional bloodstains. Rick tried the door on the other side of the block and shook it. It didn't bulge. He then joined Daryl upstairs to check out the rest of the cells. Out of nowhere we all heard the noise of the snarling biters from inside some of the cells, reaching out to grab at something. At someone. I heard someone scoff then the snarling stopped. And the bodies were gathered to be taken outside. And I had helped despite the fact that I wasn't staying. The thought of me leaving made my stomach flip and my head hurt.

It was an uneasy feeling.

One by one, their people starting coming in, bringing bags and whatnot with them. While picking up one of the bodies from the floor I felt a hand on my back. It shouldn't have startled me but I turned around trying to reach for my knife. The face I was met with was not snarling or groaning with decayed meat hanging from its teeth, but rather a pregnant woman who looked tired enough to pass out in front of me.

"It's okay." She said, her voice soothing and smooth. "I just wanted to say thank you, for all your help."

I didn't know what to say so I said nothing at all just nodding my head a couple times before I began pulling the body towards the entrance.

"What'd you think?" I heard Rick's voice as I returned from dumping the body outside.

"Home sweet home." Glenn sarcastically responded, and I smiled at his comment. It was the first time in a long time that I had smiled.

 _I smiled._

"For the time being."

"Is it secure?" The pregnant woman asked. I'll have to make a mental note to get her name later.

 _Later, yeah right._

"The cell block is." He looked at her with a look I couldn't quite read. Not sure if it bothered me or not.

"What about the rest of the prison?" And older man spoke up.

"In the morning, we'll find a cafeteria and an infirmary." Rick responded. He also seemed to know the next step before we finished taking the first one.

 _WE._

"We sleep in the cells?" A younger female asked, sounding almost disgusted,

"Found some keys on the guards, Daryl has a set too." So Daryl was his right hand man.

"I ain't sleepin' in no cage. I'll take the perch." Daryl said from the second story. I didn't say it outloud but something bothered me about sleeping in a cell. Even if it wasn't jail. It didn't sit right with me.

 _You idiot. You won't be sleeping here regardless._

I saw everyone finding a cell to sleep in, with bags and other things, some with others and some alone. It hurt a little to see them like that.

 _Yeah cause they have a place in this group, you don't._

I began to leave, hoping to find my bag and get the hell out of here before anyone notices I left.

"You leaving?" I heard a voice say. I turned around and was face to face with Rick. he was massaging his shoulder, he must've been exhausted.

"I, well, yeah...sort of." I rambled trying not to look and sound like an idiot though I already probably did.

"I saw you. Outside I mean when we were all out there. You killed that walker close to Daryl." He said staring at me while I was staring at my shoes. There was something extremely interesting about them at the moment.

"I did what I had to do." I whispered just wanting to get my things and leave before I make an ass out of myself.

"No you didn't. You did what you thought was right. Thank you for that." I nodded and looked him in the eyes. They were glossed over with something other than relief. Regret? Maybe not but something in his eyes wanted my forgiveness.

And I gave it to him.

"How many of them have you killed?" He didn't have to say what he was talking about… I already knew. I narrowed my eyes and tried to think. Are we really supposed to be keeping count? Is that something I should've started when everything went south. Truth is I did count for a while, but after the number grew up to triple digits, I stopped counting.

"More than I care to remember." I utter honestly.

"How many people have you killed?"

I tense at this. I could only count that number on one hand, but it was who that hurt the most. I try not to think of it, every damn day it haunts me because I know that maybe if I had done something different, or chose a different road to go down, some of those people might be alive.

"Four." I breath out, on the verge of a breakdown. But I wait just to see what he will say.

"Why?" His last question hurts the depths of my soul. I know I could've done more, and I didn't have to kill them and end their suffering. They just would've came alive again; different, but alive. But not. But now that I think about it, I can't decide which one would hurt more.

"I… I had no other choice."

He didn't respond for a while. In fact it seemed like a lifetime before he said something. I've never wanted to evaporate into thin air as much as I did right now.

"You should get some sleep. We got a big day tomorrow. Gotta find some food. Medicine."

Everything he was saying caught me off guard. I didn't know what question to ask first. Or if I should ask one at all.

"We?" I asked surprised and thankful and scared and angry all at the same time.

He walked away without and answer leaving me completely in awe. I stood there contemplating whether I should stay or go.

" _Sephora, you can't possibly be thinking what I know you're thinking."_ Keith asked clearly not in favor of me staying. I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose. The mild headache I had before was coming back with a vengeance. " _After how they all treated you. Tied you up like an animal. You know how much you hate that don't you? Stole your food."_ I closed my eyes harder and leaned against the wall. Through gritted teeth I spoke back out loud, "I know, I know." I didn't know what to do. Keith was right. They'd stolen my food and laughed while they ate it. Tied me to the fence and left me the scraps to eat. Then forced me to fight with them, not caring the slightest if I lived or died. But, I didn't want to be alone again. Being out there, not having anyone to watch your back. It's a scary feeling. So I walked up the stairs and crept past an already sleeping Daryl on the landing of the stairs. I picked the most isolated room I could find which was a total five cells from the closet person. The room was disgusting and dark, marked with red blood stains and cracks throughout the wall. I slowly peeled my blood stained shirt and pants not knowing if it was mine, a biters or someone else's, and inspected my leg.

It looked pretty gruesome.

The flesh was torn and limp and the area around was a dark blue color. Another day like this and it could get infected. And that wouldn't be fun for me. _Guess I'm going to have to take a trip to the infirmary tomorrow._ Regardless of my leg I slid my shoes off and laid back the bed.

 _Ten, nine..._

I could barely keep my eyes open.

 _Eig-_

I was out before I reach half way through.

 **Okay, I need to apologize. I understand that I'm a shitty Updater but I have been trying. This is the longest chapter I believe I have written so far and I can tell y'all this it won't be the longest. PT is draining and I am doing better now so hopefully I find a schedule so the story can go along and a new chapter with go up regularly. I just have to get back in the swing of things. Thanks for your patience.**

 **-Nu**


	7. Chapter Seven

**Another chapter so quick? I know. But the more I'm writing now, surprisingly the better I feel. So now that we're getting into the story more, the more y'all going to find out about Sephora's past. Which I'm going to tell y'all this now, it's not pretty.**

 **SO WARNING!**

 **If you are in anyway sensitive to rape, suicidal thoughts, abuse or anything else, then skip of the longer parts written in** ** _italic._** **Just know that** **I don't write my characters, they write themselves.**

 **-Nu**

"Not bad." Daryl said looking at all the weapons they found in the armory. They had went there this morning before most people were awake. I had woke up when they were coming back with a bag full of goodies.

"Flashbangs, Cs Triple-Chasers. Not sure how they'd work on walkers, but we'll take 'em." Rick responded. Walkers. That must be what they call the biters. From the beginning I've heard different names. Roamers, Biters, Creepers. Now I can add walkers to that list.

Daryl had picked up a helmet that one of the walkers were wearing and decomposed filth, blood and sludge fell from it, "I ain't wearin' this shit."

"We could boil them." T-Dog said. The idea made my stomach hurt. Those things could be washed down with ammonia, bleach, and holy water and I still wouldn't touch those things, let alone wear them.

"Ain't enough firewood in the forest. No." Daryl retorted. Damn straight there isn't. "'Sides we made it this far without 'em. Right?"

"Hershel," Carol called for him. So his name is Hershel.

"Everything alright?" Rick asked a look of worry on his face and panic in his voice.

"Yeah. Nothing to worry about" she said almost nonchalantly.

I was towards the back, out of everyone's way. I didn't want to seem suffocating when I had only knew them for one day. Hell I didn't even know if I wanted to stay for that long. Keith's words rang out in my ears.

" _Tied you up like an animal. You know how much you hate that…"_ I knew what he was referring to. That night out by our school. There was this teen club in our town. _The Hangout._ No alcohol. Just teens and music.

" _Could you hurry the hell up Phora. We can get in free before nine and it's almost eight fifty." Keith said even though I could hardly make out what he was saying because we were riding on my motorcycle._

" _Okay damn don't get you panties in a bunch Wilson we'll make it." I responded clearly annoyed with Keith. It was his idea to go to the club. Not mine. I was completely content on staying in my room, reading some books and ordering pizza. But leave it to Keith to want the grand friday night out. So here we were, riding down to the club on my bike. With ten minutes until we have to pay to get in. Just as it hit eight pulled up into the parking lot. Keith jumped off before we even came to a complete stop._

" _Hey speed racer wait up!" I called, my I.D. in my hand and my bag on my back, jogging half heartedly after him. As soon a we went inside, I lost him. I mean nowhere to be seen so I went to the bar and ordered a lemonade. I pulled out my book from my bag and started to read. My tutor says that the only way I'll get better is if I practice. The only downside is that I was stuck to reading fifth grade level books. Those were the only ones I could understand._

" _You all by yourself?" a voice said and my head shot up to look into his dark brown eyes._

" _Uh, no, well yeah I guess right now but I didn't come alone." I mumbled not really interested. He seemed to notice._

" _Is anyone sitting here?" He pointed to the seat next to me._

" _No." I said turning my undivided attention to my book. For a while he tried to make small talk. Asked me for my name, my number, social media, but I just wasn't interested. Sooner or later he stopped trying and nursed his ice tea for what seemed like forever. Eventually he left and I was grateful for that, finally being able to fully pay attention to my book. I read and drank my lemonade until I was finished. Everything seemed fine, then out of nowhere my eyes started to drop. My head was throbbing. My legs felt heavy sitting in the stool but like jelly when I stood up. I remember falling but not hitting the ground, someone caught me. I was hoping it was Keith and that he'd get us a ride home. But when I looked up, the dark brown eyes I remember from earlier that night picked me up. And that's when I notice that his eyes weren't brown at all. They were black. Like black enough to make me feel like I would fall in and never get out._

 _That's when everything went dark._

 _I woke up later that night, tied to a pole in the middle of nowhere. My head still felt cloudy and I almost felt over with how much weight was on my legs. I couldn't see anything or anyone before I heard the voice._

" _You could've been nicer you know." the man smiled again not at seeming at all how nice he was at the bar._

" _I have money. A lot. I have a lot of it." My voice sounded foreign to me. Deeper. Scared and afraid._

" _We both know that's not what I want." he walked towards me and held a cloth to my mouth. I stopped breathing for a moment trying not to breath the fumes in. I stayed like that until my lungs burned and I had felt light headed. Against my own will I breathed in letting a strangled sob escape from my throat, allowing the toxins into my body. I tried to stay awake. My eyes burned with the need to close and forget everything in the moment._

 _One, two…_

 _I woke up alone and cold. My hands were still tied and my shirt was ripped, so was my pants, so was my…_

 _Oh no… Oh God no please no._

 _My clothes were a shredded mess. Everything I had was gone. My backpack, my phone, my shoes, my dignity._

 _Everything._

 _No one found me until a day later when an elderly woman passing by heard me screaming for help and called the police. My mom, Keith, and Julian were there it seemed in no time. My father, well my father was nowhere to be seen._

"Hey, you okay?" I heard a voice say. I turned and saw a blonde girl with pale skin looking at me with concern.

"Y-yeah, why wouldn't I be?" I asked, a little more bit in my voice than I had hoped. She shrunk a little bit and her face fell.

And to think i thought it was impossible to hate myself more than I do now.

"It's just, you got tears in your eyes and you've been starin' a hole into that wall over there…" the young girl replied almost quiet to the point where I had to strain my ears just to hear. Then I realized that I was crying right before a small drop landed in the palm of my hand. "I'm sorry, its none of my business." she started to walk away.

"No." I said louder than I should have, "You can stay if you want." It was weird. Her presence was awfully comforting. She perked up and walked back standing next to me leaving the space between us in a comfortable silence.

"So what's your name?" she asked. She almost sounded like a little girl curious with the world.

"Sephora." I said quickly, not even thinking about lying about it.

"Sephora…" She said slowly, testing the waters a little bit. "I like it."

I laughed slightly still trying to dry the tears in my eyes. "What's yours?"

"Beth. Greene." Beth said. The silence fell on us once more. Maybe she knows when silence is a sufficient answer.

"Well it's a pleasure to meet you Beth Greene." I whispered softly.

And it actually was.

"You won't need that." Rick said to his son; Carl I heard before. We were standing there getting ready to find out what else was left behind in the prison, putting on chest plates and loading guns, while Carl was trying on a helmet. It was cute that he was showing some effort to help. "I need you to stay put."

"You're kidding."Carl said, disbelief etched on his face.

"We don't know what's in there. Something goes wrong, you could be the last man standing." The certainty in Rick's voice didn't sit right with me. "I need you to handle things here."

Carl stood for a second, understand his task. "Sure." He said, almost a look of assertiveness and pride to be chosen to keep things here in order.

"Great. Let's go." Rick said as we started to file out. I stopped to look at him. I didn't said anything but I knew he knew what I was thinking. _Will you have my back?_ I stood there silent, holding my empty holster-they must not trust me enough to give my gun back- and my knife.

He simply nodded.

For the time being, it was enough for me.

We waited at the door while Daryl slowly unlocked it. I flinched as the worn metal creaked and hissed in the loud silence. Once open we all walked through one by one. The tightness of the group reminded me of yesterday in the yard. Everyone who fought yesterday in that yard came and even the elderly man (what was his name? Hansel? Hershel?) came with us today. The corridors were mainly dark, only the flashlights we had lit the way. The walled wreaked with mildew and dust, leaving a foul taste in my mouth and an inch in my throat. Decomposing bodies littered the floor, serving as a meal to the ugly rats the feasted on them. Some were mostly intact, I could only see the blood on their face and the bite that caused their demise. Others were more mutilated and grotesque, their insides ripped out and mangled, blackened blood spilt onto the floor.

I felt nauseated, but I pushed that thought aside and walked on, my hand gripping my knife harsher with every step. I turned around, hearing a hissing noise. Glenn was spray painting every corner we turn or pass, making little arrows to where we came from.

Smart guy.

I start walking again, my eyes focused on the path of my flash light. Then, I all but stabbed myself when I heard a shriek come from behind me. We all turned around to see Glenn and Maggie face to face. He must've scared her.

"Sorry." He barely whispers as we all push on. The hall we walk down was better than the last. Less bodies, the smell drew away from my nostrils ad I will myself to take a shallow breath. We go in deeper, farther than I remember walking and walk more halls and turn more corners. The whole prison seemed like a maze, and the deeper we went in the more my stomach began to feel uneasy.

" _Something bad is gonna happen. You know that right?"_ Keith pushed from the back of my head. I closed my eyes hoping a headache wouldn't form. But for once I agreed with him. Everything seemed so calm. It surely wouldn't last forever like this.

More halls.

More corners.

I began to hear something. It was faint, too faint I think for the others to hear. I had always has good hearing as a kid. Julian would sometimes call my Dumbo because of it. As we walked the noise grew only a little. I walked aster the the front where Rick and Daryl was, holding my finger to my mouth hoping they would get the hint. I could tell by Daryl's face, that he had heard it too. We turned another corner and by this time I could hear the noise ringing in my ears.

"Go back. Go back! Move! Walkers!" Rick shouted in a whisper. We all started to backtrack, turning on our heels to go back from where we came. They started moving towards us, the walkers, I could hear them behind me.

"This way." Daryl yelled, pulling up towards the front of the group with his crossbow raised. Maggie and Glenn ran fast in front of me, and given that it was extremely dark, I could barely see them. Then I heard he yell as well as Glenn and then they started running towards me. We rush towards a hall I don't remember even passing and run like hell, the walkers too close and too loud for comfort. I turn to see if everyone was there, Glenn and Maggie trailing behind me, but then I saw down another hall a walker grab for me. I moved out of the way just in time, but Glenn and Maggie got cut off.

I couldn't even see if they were okay.

The rest of us went to the nearest door and filed in, squated down and tried our hardest to catch our breath.

"Where's Glenn and Maggie?" Rick asked us once the door was shut.

"We have to go back." Hershel, or was it Hansel, replied quickly. It didn't take much to figure out that Maggie was his daughter.

"But which way?"Daryl whispered, his face scrunched into a scowl that ever seemed to leave.

"Darlin' did you see where they went?" The father asked, his white eyebrows knit together closely.

"I only say them running towards a door. I think they went in. I think they're safe." I try to ease his worry. It does a little; I can see the wrinkles in his face weaken, but I can tell he's still on edge. Who wouldn't be in this situation?

"What's your name?" He asks, and suddenly all eyes are on me.

" _This isn't the time to be asking irrelevant ass questions like that old man. We have to leave and get Maggie and Glenn, do you understand? Don't you know this isn't the time? We can die you know."_

I didn't say any of those things though. I looked up and said in the loudest voice I dared to speak in.

"Sephora."

We all stood up as Rick slowly opened the door to check if the coast was clear. We start walking the halls again, all of us completely on edge. Rick had motioned Daryl to check out the rest of the hallway while he motioned me towards one of the corners.

"Maggie? Glenn?" The older man whispered into the silence. When he didn't get a response, we started walking again.

More halls and corners.

But then a voice.

Not a groan or moan or growl but a voice.

"Daddy?" Maggie's voice peeled through the quiet. I knew her father heard it too when he stopped and walked in the other direction. I narrowed my eyes and followed him, knowing that he couldn't go in alone.

"Mag, Mag?" He said louder this time. I only took my eyes off of him for a second to turn around and check the surroundings when I heard his scream. When I looked down I saw him on the floor and a walker was biting into his ankle.

Oh no…

"No!" I heard Rick scream as he shot the walker in the skull, the sound of the bullet pounding loudly in my ear. The man was wheezing and wailing, in shock and disbelief.

"NO! Daddy no!" Maggie cried as she ran up to him, her hand covering her mouth. Rick and Glenn, both on each side of him, grabbed his arms and hoisted him up.

"Daryl!" Rick yelled.

"Oh God help me!" The man screamed.

Everything was happening so fast, to quick for me to comprehend.

" _You freeze up you die." Julian said with his thick southern accent, "It's just the way shit is now. Don't let it happen to you Phor, you're better than that."_

I shook my head and started to run, only to be met by a group of walkers, yearning for me. One grabbed the front of my tank and pulled; ripping it. A scream was botte up in my throat until I saw an arrow fly into its eye. Turning around I felt a hand wrap around my arm and pull me. It was Daryl's.

"We gotta go!" He yell at me and pulled me. I pushed down the feeling of electrical currents shooting from the place where he was touching my arm and began to run, but before I moved I bent down and pulled the arrow from the fallen walker and stuffed it in the waist of my pants.

"Go, Go!" voices called, as was were all clamoring to get down the corridor. We all suddenly stopped at the end looking at a locked door.

"Open the door!" We were all yelling, watching the herd getting closer and closer. As soon ans the lock handcuffs on the door were broken, we ran in, and T-Dog and Daryl leaned them closed to keep the walkers from coming in. They then slid a metal bar between the handles and moved back. Rick and Glenn had set the man on the floor and he was whimpering, crying, the look of pure shock on his face. I went to my knees, a discarded hatchet near my foot, and pulled up his pant leg, wincing as I glanced at the wound. Blood was seeping out of it and the bit was deep, some flesh was hanging from it. Without thinking I turned to Rick.

"Give me your belt." I instruct him. He didn't hesitate as he started moving his hands. Either he was shocked too or… or he knew what I was getting ready to do. Once the belt was in my hands, I began wrapping and tying it around his calf, right below his knee.

"This the the only way to keep you alive…" I said reaching for the hatchet. "Keep him still." I said and raised the weapon above my head. I brought it down the first time on his leg and I heard him scream. Memories flooded my eyes with every swipe of my arm.

" _I need you to stay still Julian!" I cried the axe in my hands and tears in my eyes._

I brought the hatchet up again.

" _Do it Sephora!" He yelled at me as he braced for that pain and gripped my leg._

The old man's screams filled my ears.

" _I'm sorry!" I said as I brought the axe down on his arm. The only thing I heard was his blood-curdling screams._

The screams stopped but the growls went on and for a minute I thought he had died.

" _Hurry they're coming." Keith said, his hands on his face before he went pulled the trigger on his gun, letting out the first of round of many to come._

I had finally cut through the leg, my hand and arms and chest and face covered in his blood. I looked at my hands shaking hands and clenched them into fists. "Oh… Oh he's bleeding out. We have to get outta here." I turn and look to Rick, then Daryl, who was sitting right in front of me. His face, not in his usual sowl, was written over with something else. Concern? Worry? But all too quick the scowl returns and he says one word to me.

"Duck."

I let my head down as I tried to if anything slow the blood slipping through my fingers from the stub where the rest of his leg once was. Daryl stood up quickly, his crossbow raised and his eyes alert. I turned my head when Daryl moved closer to the wall. It was then that I saw we were not alone. Behind some sort of metal gate were five men, once prisoners as seen with their jumpsuits, and they were pressed up against the gate.

"Holy shit." An unfamiliar voice said cutting through the air.

"Who the hell are you?" Daryl barked moving closer and closer to the men.

"Who the hell are you?" One of the prisoners said back to him. The remark was meant to be snide, even though right outside those locked doors were things that would kill us all in seconds flat.

"I said he's bleeding out. We have to go now!" I said louder this time. "Maggie put pressure on the knee. Hard, hard! If he loses too much blood he's as good as dead!" I didn't mean for it to sound so certain, but when I heard a soft sob tumble from between Maggie's lips I knew it did. I looked at her with a firm but easy stare. "He's gonna be fine." She sat there shaking and crying, holding his knee tightly in her hand. I cursed underneath my breath as ripped apart the remnants of my torn shirt. "I need you to hold this. As hard as you can."

She nodded fiercely and spoke quietly, "Yes."

"Why don't you come on out of there. Slow 'n steady." Daryl said behind me.

"What happened to him?" The same prisoner said, walking slowly out of the room.

"He got bit." Daryl put it as simple as he could.

"Bit?" The man asked, clearly confused. From the corner of my eye I saw him reach for a gun in the waist of his jumpsuit.

"Woah, woah, woah. Easy now." Daryl said, "Nobody needs to get hurt."

"You have medical supplies?" Glenn walked forward towards the men and into the room they were just in.

"Woah, where do you think you're going?" The man retaliated, but he didn't move. "Who the hell are you people anyway?

"Don't look like no rescue team." Another prisoner spoke up. He was older and shorter than the first with a small handlebar moustache growing.

"If a rescue team is what you're waiting for, don't." Rick said, hoisting the unconscious man up. Clattering was heard in the back room and all of us turned to see what was going on. Glenn then came back with a table to lay the old man on. "Come on we gotta go. Now come on I need a hand here!"

"One, two, three, go!" I yelled as Rick, Glenn, and myself lifted the man onto the table with a thud.

"Holy Jesus." The shorter prisoner said in panic.

"T, the door!" Rick shouted as he and Glenn pushed the table and it began to move.

"Are you crazy, don't open that!" A third man chimed in.

"We got this." I said at them. My stomach fluttered and I looked at everybody.

 _We._

I pushed that thought deep down for now. It wasn't the right place and it damn sure wasn't the right time. As T-Dog removed the bar from the door, the door opened and a walker came in. T pushed it into the wall and shoved the bar under the helmet it was wearing and into its skull.

"Daryl!" Rick said as he and Glenn push the table out into the hallway. I ran with them holding the severed leg with Maggie. We were all scrambling to get back to the cell block breathing heavy and trying to remember which way we came from.

"This way, this way." Rick pushed forward with Glenn. Snarls and moans were heard at the end of the hall, loud and violent.

"No, no, no. Back, back!" Glenn shouted.

"Daryl!" Rick shouted as a walker approached us. It slumped in a decomposing mess however, when an arrow lodged itself through its brain.

"Come on!" Daryl yelled, gripping and pulling the arrow out of the walker. "Go, go, go!"

As we inched our way back to the cell block my stomach lurched and then settled, relieved that we were actually going to make it. But then I heard the voice.

"Wait, wait. Stop." I said and pointed back to the shadows casted on the wall at the end of the corridor.

"Follow the flashlight." The voice whispered. The shadows kept coming closer and my stomach lurched then settled.

And not in a good way.

"Let's go." Rick muttered and pushed the table faster. The shadows took form and the men followed us. When the door to the cell block appeared, Daryl quickly unlocked it and we all came in.

"Open the door!" Rick called out to Carl, who was fumbling to get to the right key. Rick looked back at me and with a bloodied hand he tossed me his gun from his holster. He put hand on my shoulder which I knew would leave an ugly patch of blood there. "Nobody get through that door."

I simply nodded as I heard screams of terror coming from inside.

"Daddy!" says one voice.

"Oh my God!" says another.

I turned and glanced at Daryl, he looked at me and turned; set a ring of keys on the table with an arrow between his teeth which he loaded into the bow. He set one foot on the metal chair in front of him and aimed the weapon at the door, waiting. I check the ammo on the gun. _Eight bullets._ I cocked the gun and pointed it towards the doors, standing. Waiting. I heard the footsteps before I saw the men behind them. The first man the came in the door was the one with the gun. He had black hair pulled into a ponytail and a moustache. The top half of his jumpsuit was tied around his waist, leaving his wife beater exposed along with a tattoos that peppered his arms and chest. Then the rest came in one by one. A shorter mocha skinned man, a taller dark skinned man with a bald head, handlebar Pete, and the tallest of them all with brown skin and a scared look on his face.

"That's far enough." Daryl declared, holding his bow eerily still.

"Cell block C. Cell 4- that's mine _gringo_." The first man said. "Let me in."

"Today's your lucky day, fellas. You've been pardoned by the state of Georgia. You're free to go." Daryl replied. I couldn't hold back the chuckle that escaped my lips. The men looked at me, the first one with a wired smirk on his face, his head tilted to the side.

"Whatcha got going on in there?" The man asked.

"It ain't none of you concern."

"Don't be telling me what's my concern." The man drew his gun and I stepped forward a few steps, but finger dangerously close to the trigger.

"Chill man," The tallest man spoke up, "Dude's leg is messed up. Besides we're free now. Why are we still in here?"

"Man's got a point." I said, my hand is the steadiest it possible has ever been.

"Yeah and I gotta check on my old lady." The bald one stated.

"A group of civilians breaking into a prison you got no business being in- got me thinking there is no pace for us to go." The first man responded.

"Why don't you go find out?" Daryl sneered at them.

"Maybe we'll just be going now." Handlebar Pete said, trying to break up the fight before it begins.

"Hey, we ain't leaving."

"You ain't coming in either." T-dog says behind me thrusting his gun up in front of him.

"Hey, this is my house, my rules. I go where I damn well please." The man said his gun pointed at T-dog. He started to walk up until I get in front of him, the barrel of my gun pointed directly in between his eyes.

"I'd stay right there if I were you." I say, my eyes narrowed into slits.

"Oh yeah, _chica_? What are you going to do it I don't?" His smirk alone makes my stomach hurt and twist into knots.

"You don't wanna find out." I whisper because I know he hears me.

"We ain't gonna tell you again." Daryl inches closer to me holding his bow towards the prisoner. "Ain't nothing for you here."

And all at once my blood courses through my veins twice as fast. That's what Rick said to me. _There's nothing for you here._ The words still taunts me. I shake my head slightly.

"I ain't telling _you_ again, let me in." The man bellowed, the crease in his forehead twitched.

"I'm tired of your mouth." Daryl says finally, and for a moment I really believe he's gonna shoot him. "There ain't nothin' for you here. Why don't you go back to your own sandbox?"

"Hey, hey! Everyone relax. There's no need for this." Rick says, holding his hand up, the other holding a machete.

"How many of you in there?" the tattooed man asks.

"Too many for you to handle." Rick responded rapidly. I could tell that he was already over it.

"You guy rob a bank or something? Why don't you take him to a hospital?" The man countered. My eyebrows knitted themselves together. We all looked at each other in question.

"You don't know?" I ask, my voice thick with doubt.

"How long have you been locked in that cafeteria?" Rick questions them. It all didn't make sense. How could they have not known that the world went to shit? That we're in the last days?

The man now looked uneasy, "Going on like ten months."

"A riot broke out. Never seen anything like it." The tallest said.

"Attica on speed, man" Handlebar Pete added.

"Ever heard about dudes going cannibal, dying and coming back to life?" The shortest asked. "Crazy."

"One guard looked out for us, locked us in the cafeteria. Told us sit tight, threw me this piece," the man with the tattoos motioned towards the gun in his hand, "Said he'd be right back."

"Yeah that was 292 days ago." The bald man stated further.

"94 according to my calcula-"

"Shut up!" The man with the tattoo cut off handlebar Pete.

"We were thinking that the army or the National Guard should be showing up any day now." The bald one finished. We all stood there for a second. I shook my head in astonishment. They had no clue.

"There is no army," I heard Rick start.

"What do you mean?"

"There's no government, no hospitals, no police. It's all gone." Rick looked at me and I turned to the prisoners. It must be hard to just now find out that everything and everyone you knew is most likely either dead, roaming dead, or barely surviving. Then again, it wasn't easy for anyone. So my sympathy cuts short.

"For real?" Pete asks.

"Serious."

"What about my moms?" The tallest asks, his face twisting from one that's scared to filled with sorrow.

"My kids?" The bald one spoke. "And my old lady? Yo, you got a cell phone or something that we can call our families?"

"You just don't get it do you?" Daryl spat.

"There are no cell phones. No cell towers. Electricity, computers, planes, trains, supermarkets, stores, money or comfort. There isn't shit out there but us and them." I brutally answer. They didn't have to deal with all the shit we've had to. They sat in here behind a gate, oblivious to the fact that their families are already gone. They didn't have to watch, or fight, or kill their way to safety just to have it pulled from beneath their feet. No. They sat, privileged enough to not have seen the things I have, do the things I've had to do.

"As far as we can see, at least half the population has been wiped out." Rick added. "Probably more."

"Ain't no way." The tattooed mad said.

"See for yourself."


	8. Chapter Eight

The crisp air felt good on my skin as we all walked out of the prison. The sun was high in the sky, could only be about noon, two at the latest. The men, the prisoners stretched and walked, shielding their eyes away from the bright sun. They all began to speak, mostly to themselves.

"Damn, the sun feels good."

"Good Lord. They're all dead."

"Never thought I'd he happy to see these fences."

As we walked down and into the courtyard, I was instantly reminded of yesterday's feat. The bodies were evidence enough that a battle had taken place, and we had won. I went to wipe my hands on my jeans; the old man's blood was sticky between all my fingers, but the cold metal of the gun stopped me. I still had it. I still had the gun Rick gave me. Should I give it back? If I don't will he think that I was trying to steal it? I walked over to where he was standing and tapped his arm with the gun. He looked over and down at the firearm for a few, then back up to me. All he did was shrug. And I knew what he meant by it.

 _Keep it._

My eyebrows raised on their own, not at all hiding my surprise. He nodded and kept walking down to where the prisoners were at. I glanced down at the gun once more, noticing how it was caked in blood and how it would need a good cleaning when I got the chance. I flipped it over a few more times and bit the inside of my cheek, then slowly slid it in the holster on my thigh. The weight of it sitting there, knowing that it's only an arm's length away, felt amazing.

"You never said-" the shortest man spoke, "How the hell did you get in here in the first place?"

"Cut a hole 'n that fence over there by that guard tower." Daryl said his weapon lowered but by his side.

"That easy, huh?" The tattooed man asked, staring at me. It sent a shiver down my spine. The look that was on his face resembled the one that was on that man's face at _The Hangout_.

"Where there's a will there's a way." Daryl said. I felt his gaze burn into the side of my face. I didn't turn to meet it.

"Easy for you to say." The shorter man responded.

"So what is this, like a disease?" The tallest of them asked, poking one of the walkers in the shoulder.

"Yeah, and we're all infected." Rick said. I turned quickly to face him, I didn't understand what he was saying.

"What do you mean infected? Like AIDS or something?" Handlebar Pete questioned. I was getting ready to ask the same thing. Infected? I thought you have to get bit. Or maybe... or maybe that's how... No, it couldn't be true.

"If I was to kill you, shoot an arrow 'n your chest, you'd come back as one of these things." Daryl stated. "It's gonna happen to all of us."

And then it all made sense.

 _"Jules. Look we gotta go. We've overstayed our welcome bud." I say towards our bedroom door which was left slightly open. We had been in the abandoned house for nearly a week. Julian needed a place to stay so he can lay low after the "incident". He needed a place to recoup and readjust so his arm could start to heal. For the past week, he had a fever that didn't break._

 _"Keith pack up, we need to be done tonight so at dawn we can get on the road."_

 _"'K little sis. You're the boss." He sarcastically remarked but began getting his things together._

 _"Jules, come on. The faster we get done, the faster I can get dinner going. And it's chicken noodle." I opened the door and walked in, only to find him on the ground. "Oh my God, Julian are you okay?" I reached for him and turned him around. Hopefully, his fever was getting better. When I turned him around he snarled at me, his usual deep green eyes glazed over in an unappealing blueish gray. The only thing that could've happened is that the fever got to him and he passed away in his sleep. The whole thing made my stomach hurt. He leapt from where he was and pinned me to the ground. "Julian, no!" I screamed and kicked, but given his height and weight compared to mine, he was a basically a dead linebacker, and me the smallish waterboy._

 _I stood no chance._

 _"Julian please, no! Oh God, Keith!"_

 _I heard Keith's heavy footsteps running down the hall and stop in the doorway. He gasped and came towards me wrestling the heavy biter off of me. Because that's what it was. It wasn't Julian anymore. Keith stood up quickly and reached for the lamp that had been left in the house. He swung it and hit the biter square in the jaw, breaking the lamp and causing the biter to fall to the ground. I tried to move back, my heart racing and tears streaking my cheeks. Keith looked at me, tears his eyes as well. Julian may have been my boyfriend and bestfriend, but he was Keith's best friend also. It was hard on him as well. Keith unsheathed his long hunting knife from his waistband and walked towards the biter._

 _"I'm sorry Julian." He said before bringing the knife down into the biter. It froze then fell, crumpled into itself. I was full on crying at this point, tears in my eyes and snot running down my nose. The ugly type of crying. I crawled towards the man I once loved and wrapped my arms around the body. Keith went down to my side and held me while I held the corpse and I cried until I had no more tears._

 _"I- I don't understand how this happened. We got the infection before it spread. He hadn't been bitten again or scratched. Nothing." Keith said his arms shaking around me. I didn't understand either, but I couldn't talk. Not now. It was all too much to handle._

 _We buried the body._

 _We did not eat chicken noodle._

 _And we did not wait until dawn to leave._

My breathing was heavy and my shoulders slumped. I stared at my shoes until I saw my vision blur. But the tears didn't fall. They couldn't fall. Not here. Not ever again.

 _We're all infected._

 _It's gonna happen to all of us._

"Ain't no way these Robin Hood cats responsible for killing all these freaks." The tattooed man said looking back at all of us.

"Must be fifty bodies out here." The shortest responded.

"Where'd you come from?" He asked Rick.

"Atlanta." Rick declared briefly.

"Where you headed?" The tattooed man shot back.

Something in Rick's face twitched and he took a step forward, challenging the other man, "For now nowhere." The man stood there for a moment, thinking.

"I guess you can take that area down there near the water. Should be comfortable." He finally replies. We all looked at each other confused. But one thing we knew for certain is that we weren't going anywhere or surrendering anything to anyone.

"We're using that field for crops." Rick pushed his suggestion aside.

The tattooed man's eyes narrowed slightly, "We'll help you move your gear out."

"That won't be necessary." Rick fired back. "We took out these walkers. This prison is ours."

"Slow down, cowboy." The man remarked.

"You snatched the lock off our doors." The shortest retaliated.

"We'll give you new locks if that's how you want it." Rick scoffed.

"This is our prison," The tattooed man signaled to all the land here. "We were here first."

"Locked in the broom closet?" Rick chuckled to himself. "We took it, set you free. It's ours. We spilt blood."

The tattooed man took a step forward, "We're moving back into our cell block."

"You'll have to get your own."

"It is mine. I've still got personal artifacts in there." I could tell the man was getting angry. With every sentence, his arm moved closer and closer to his waistband. "That's about as mine as it gets." He removed the gun now and swung his hand menacingly. We all had our guns pointed at him. As far as we knew these men were just a thorn in our side. Something we didn't have to deal with if we just take care of the problem.

 _"Tisk, tisk Phora. You sound just like Dad."_ Keith mentioned and I winced at that. I could picture him saying something like that. I felt my hand falter a bit.

"Woah, woah, woah. Maybe let's try to work this out so that everybody wins." Pete spoke up, getting between Rick and the tattooed man.

"I don't see that happening." The man said.

"Neither do I." Rick replied back. Well, that's one thing they agreed on.

"I ain't going back in that cafeteria for one more minute." The man explained, his last words spread out making him sound a little disturbed.

"There are other cell blocks." I heard my voice say. Everybody looked at me and I shrugged.

"You could leave. Try your luck out on the road." Daryl glanced back and forth from the man to me. We all stood there in silence, everyone weighing the options they had.

"If these four pussies can do all this," The man stared at each and every one of us. My hand clenched around the gun tighter, "the least we can do is take out another cell block."

"With what?" The tallest asked. Frankly, he was so quiet I forgot he was there, regardless of the fact that he has at least a good foot and a half on me.

"Atlanta here will spot us some real weapons." The man declared, as if we didn't have a choice, "Won't you boss?"

Rick thought for a moment, moving his eyes quickly between everybody, "How stocked is that cafeteria? It must have plenty of food. Five guys lasting almost a _year._ "

"Sure as hell don't look like anybody's been starvin'." Daryl added nodding towards the tallest. He had a good point. They all looked lean if anything bigger and thicker than what we all did. None of them clearly has missed any meals.

"There's only a little left." The tattooed man put it simply.

"We'll take half." Rick reasoned. "I exchange, we'll help clear out a cell block.

"Didn't you hear him? There's only a little left." The shortest stepped up, his chest out and his eyes hard. I laughed a little inside.

"Bet you got more food than you got choices." I duly noted, my gun swaying a little.

"You pay, we'll play. We'll clear out a block for you, then you keep to it." Rick negotiated. And I could tell, it was his last offer.

"Alright." The man spoke.

"But let's be clear." Rick stepped up, they were only a foot length apart now, "If we see you out here anywhere near our people, if I so much as even catch a whiff of your scent, I will kill you."

The man's eyes faltered, he was intimidated, to say the least.

"Deal."

"Pantry's back here."The man lead us back into the cafeteria. As we walked through the doors my eyes instantly fell to the ground to the severed leg. The blood was rapidly drying on the floor and the flies were gathering to lay eggs. I shivered inside.

"You never tried to break out of here?" T-Dog asked, and I wasn't sure if he meant before or after the outbreak.

"Yeah, we tried to take the doors off. But if you make one peep in here, then those freaks'll be lined up outside the door growling trying to get in." The bald one said. "Windows got bars on there that He-Man couldn't get through."

"Bigger than a five by eight." Pete added.

"You won't find me complaining." The tallest stated. "Doing fifteen. My left leg couldn't fit on one of those bunks." I believed him.

"Yeah, they don't call him Big Tiny for nothing." _Big Tiny. Such a contradiction._

"You done jerking each other off? Sick of waiting back here." The tattooed man asked. Rick's chin clenched and I could tell he wanted to kill him. His hand moved to his gun as we walked back towards the pantry. When we got to the back we all stood in awe. In front of us were bags, cans, bottles, buckets, and boxes full of food. More than I have seen in a long time. This will keep us going.

Daryl turned on his flashlight briefly and took note of all the food, "This is what you call a little bit of food?"

"Goes fast." The man replied quickly.

"Mm-hmm."

"You can have a bag of corn, some tuna fish-"

"You said half." Rick cut the man off. "That's the deal." Rick walked around and went to a locked door. "What's in there."

"Don't open that." The bald one warned. Rick took a step forward and opened it, coughing and gagging when the scent filled his nostrils. Whatever was in there reaked badly, and I held my hand to my nose to block the scent. What could be in there that's so...

Oh.

The prisoners started laughing at him, looking at each other knowingly.

"He wanted to know." The tattooed man chuckled. Rick slammed the door closed and leaned against it, trying to catch a fresh breath.

"Can't wait for my own pot to piss in." Pete chimed in, trying hard to move past this awkward moment.

"Food's here." T-Dog's playful voice rung. We were all carrying handfuls of food back to the cell block.

"Whatcha got?" Carl asked standing by the door.

"Canned beef, canned corn, canned cans." He replied. I smiled to myself. "There's a lot more where this came from."

"Any change?" Rick asked the pregnant woman, referring to the elderly man. Her hands looked just like mine if anything better.

"Bleeding is under control and no fever," I perked up at the news. _No fever._ Maybe he'll live after all. "But his breath is labored and his pulse is way down and he hasn't opened his eyes yet." My shoulders fell at this.

Rick looked between the woman and Glenn for a moment. "Take my cuffs, put them on him. I'm not taking any chances." I knew what he wanted to say. _If he turns, I don't want any casualties._ I continued to walk back towards the cell they were holding the food in. T-Dog was neatly stacking them slowly making a little mountain of food.

"You think it's gonna be enough?" Carl asked T-Dog. He pondered this before answering.

"Nothing is ever enough these days. But for now," he stopped and put his hands on his sides, "I think this'll do just fine."

"How long do you think it'll last?" Carl asked again. But this time he was staring at me, his blue eye devouring me. My tongue seemed to swell in my mouth as I tried to form a sentence but I nodded it away and started to speak.

"If we're careful, it should last a while."

"So are you going to be here for a while? As part of the group?" He fired back, and I smile at his persistence. T-Dog stopped what he was doing and looked at me, he was curious as well.

"You know," I started trying to figure out what to say, "Not so sure yet."

"Beth told me your name is Sephora." He declared, not asking, just telling. I took a breath in and turned to him completely with a full smile on my face.

"Don't wear it out."

"So why do I need this, when I have this?" The tattooed man asked smugly, holding a crowbar and removing his gun from his waistband. We were all standing at a table giving them weapons so they could clear out a cell block. Clearly, the man was confused.

"You don't fire guns," Daryl started, "Not unless your back's up against the wall. Noise attracts them. Really riles them up."

"We'll go in two by two. Daryl will run point with T. We'll all follow. Sephora," Rick stopped to catch my attention, "You'll bring up the rear." I nodded briefly, willing him to go on. "Stay tight, hold formation no matter how close the walkers get. Anyone breaks ranks, we could all go down. Anyone runs off, they could get mistaken for a walker, end up with an ax to the head."

"And that's where you aim." Daryl chimed in. "These things only goes down with a headshot."

"You ain't gotta tell us how to take out a man." The tattooed man chuckled and look around.

"They ain't men." T-Dog walked up towards them. "They're something else."

"Just remember to go for the brain." Rick finished, and the tattooed man reached for the keys lying on the table. We all looked at each other, the prisoners were all so clueless. We all made our way out of our block and towards uncharted territory. We went in two by two, just like Rick instructed. I held my knife between my bloody fingers, stalking behind everyone else when the tattooed man slowed down to my pace. And before I knew it he was right next to me.

"What you in for, _novio_?" He asked, his smooth voice makes me want to gag. He studied me and went on, not hindered by my silence. "What, _cariño,_ cat's got your tongue?" I bit the inside of my cheek, trying hard not to say anything. "Come on, don't be such a _puta, princesa_." I looked at him and sigh. _So clueless._ When I was little, our nanny/maid, Estela (but we would always called her _abuelita_ ), would teach Keith and I Spanish when our father wasn't looking. At first, it was little phrases and such here and there, but when we got older we only spoke in Spanish while talking to her. I could say I'm pretty fluent in the language. And I do not appreciate him calling me a bitch to my face.

" _No estoy siendo una puta. Pero, supongo tengo que estar cuando un cabrón esta hablado a mi. Pinche idiota._ " I mutter to him in my best Spanish accent. His eyebrow quirked up and his smirk diminished a bit. [I'm not being a bitch. But, I suppose I have to be when a bastard is talking to me. Fucking idiot.]

"I can dig a Spanish chick." He replied moving back up towards Rick.

"Don't waste your time." I mumble back.

"Man it's too damn dark in here." The bald one spoke aloud, causing me to turn quickly and raise my knife slightly.

"Gotta hold it up high out in front of you." Daryl motioned towards the man's ax. "You're gonna hear 'em before you see 'em." We walked some more down the dusty, dark hallway and the clanging of walkers could be heard over the sound of us breathing.

"It's coming!" Handlebar Pete yelled which made me grip my knife even tighter.

"Shh!" Rick tried to quiet him down. Daryl held up his hand signaling for us to stop, and we all came to a halt. He held up one finger. Then slowly lifted a second, but before he could get to a third, the men all charged holding their weapons over their heads and yelling like they're going to war. They kicked and hit, punched and stabbed the walkers, everywhere except the head. Rick, Daryl, T-Dog, and I stood there at a total loss for words. We looked at them, then to each other, then back at them again. They treated it like a prison fight. One would hold the walkers arms back and another would stab it repeatedly in the chest. The others had one on the ground and were beating the absolute shit out of it.

 _So fucking clueless._

After maybe two minutes of this, I walked forward. I couldn't take watching this anymore. I pushed Pete and the bald man off of one and swiftly stabbed it in its head. Same with the others, once I was finished I turned to face them and they all looked at me like I grew another head.

"The hell'd you do that for? We had those sons of bitches." The tattooed man asked stalking up to me.

"I was tired of watching you all act like jackasses." I spat back. I don't know if I was imagining it but I heard a chuckle come from behind Daryl's smirk. "I guess you don't all get it then? Aim for the head. The eye. The ear. Anywhere that will kill the brain. But no, you all wanna treat this like a gang fight or some shit." I knew I was pissing them all of but I didn't stop. "So why don't we try this again. And this time try not to to be complete dicks." I walked off without saying another word, but yet killing another walker that came up from behind me when I was talking.

"It's gotta be the brain," Daryl said before shooting an arrow to a walker in front of him. "Not the stomach, not the heart- the brain."

"I hear you. The brain." Pete repeated and the bald man went in to strike one, killing it dead.

"Like that?" He asked.

"Uh-huh." Daryl responded. Pete went in and drove the metal rod into another walker's eye. Then Rick went up and killed the next one.

"Stay in tight formation. No more prison riot crap." He told them. One by one they started to get the hang of it as they started to take down the walkers. I stood fighting with them, stabbing swiftly as the walkers came at us. Just when it seemed like most of the walkers were take care of, a shriek tore through the air and we all turned around. The tallest, Big Tiny, was cornered in by a couple walkers. Rick ran forwards and killed one, the tattooed man fired two rounds into the last one, causing it to fall. We stood in silence for a while trying to let the smoke clear. Tiny reached behind his shoulder and when he pulled his hand back it was covered in red. Rick held his flashlight up to examine it, but he didn't really need to. He already knew what it was.

"I'm telling you, I don't feel anything. It's just a scratch." Tiny tried to explain.

"I'm sorry man..." Rick looked down at his feet.

"I can keep fighting!"

"You cut that old man's leg off to save his life." The short one glance at me.

I shrugged, "Look where the bite is."

"Guys I'm fine! Just- I'm fine." Tiny shouted, his face telling a completely different story. "Look at me- I'm not changing into one of those things."

"Look, there has to be something we can do." The bald one tried to reason. "We could just lock him up."

"Quarantine him." Pete suggested.

"We gotta do something. Why you just standing there?" He asked Rick. "We gotta save him."

"There's nothing we can do." Rick sighed out looking down at the short man. He just stood there shaking his head.

"You son of a bitch."

"I'm all ri-" He was cut off by the pickaxe that collided with his head. The tattooed man spun it in his hand before bringing down on Tiny's head once more blood splattering everywhere. Everyone took a step back and stared at him. I glanced at Daryl who looked at me, then to Rick and T-Dog. We all watched in horror as he beat the man's skull in relentlessly his face, chest, arms, and hands dripping with Tiny's blood. By the time he was done. Tiny's body laid motionless, his head torn open and his brain shredded. Then he just stood over him breathing heavy with a disturbed look on his face.

Never... never have I seen anyone killed in cold blood.

He suddenly walked away leaving all of us shocked and if anything, we were on edge.

 _And then there were four._

Slowly, we walked down the dimly lit hallway, our eyes and ears open. Mostly everyone was towards the front, two by two just as we planned before, but Rick Daryl and I brought up the rear, mainly to keep an eye on the tattooed man.

"You see the look on his face?" Daryl asked Rick in the smallest whisper.

"He makes one move," Rick replied, his eyes darting past everything in front of him.

"Just give me the signal." Daryl finished. They were so in sync, they knew what the other wanted just by a cold stare of nod of the head. We walked into a room, and by the looks of it, it was used for the laundry. There were washing machines and dryers, and detergent and towels along shelves in the middle of the room. Through a door on a different wall, I could hear the moaning of hungry walkers banging on the door. Rick threw down the key ring toward the tattooed man's feet. He looked up and eyed him dangerously.

"I ain't opening that." He said shortly.

"Yes, you are," Rick spoke matter of factly. "If you want this cell block, you're going to open that door. Just the one, not both of them. Because we need to control this." The man bent down and picked up the keys and walked towards the door. My stomach tightened and fell. Something bad was gonna happen, I could feel it. As he unlocked the doors the growling got louder, almost like the walkers got hungrier.

"You bitches ready?" He asked, looking at me longer than he should've and winked. It took everything I had to swallow the bile that rose in my throat. He tugged on one door but it wouldn't give. Then another time and it still didn't budge.

"I got this." He said and when it seemed like he was going to try for the one door again, his other hand rose and pulled the second along with it. They both flew open and the walkers stumbled in.

"I said one door!" Rick yelled as he started swinging at the walkers.

"Shit happens." The man responded. All of us brought our weapons down on the walkers, and one by one they started to fall. The shortest one swing the bat back towards me, which I narrowly dodged. I looked at glanced at him for a moment but then started up again at the walkers. It wasn't something I needed to be worrying about at the moment. T-Dog pushed the walkers against the wall, Daryl shot his arrows, and Rick brought down the machete on their heads, working quick and easy.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the tattooed man pushed a walker towards Rick, which caused him to go down in the process. Rick fought for a minute trying to slug the walker off of him, but without his weapon, he wasn't getting very far. Without hesitating I threw the knife at the back of the walker's head, killing it, and pulled it off of him. I grabbed his hand and he gently nodded as I pulled him up. Once the last walker was killed we all looked at each other, trying to catch our breath.

"What the hell was that?" I moved and got closer the man, my knife bloody and pressed into my palm.

"It was coming at me, bro." He shrugged and looked towards Rick.

"Yeah, yeah I get it." Rick balanced the machete in hand and stared the man down. "I get it. Shit happens." We all stood there in what has got to be the most uncomfortable silence while the two men sized the other up. When Rick brought the blade above his head, I knew the deed had already been done.

 _And then there were three._

"No!" The shorter man ran up to Rick when the blade went through the tattooed man's head. His face contorted and then went neutral. He was gone. Rick kicked the dead man's body and it fell to the floor with a thud. "Ah!" the man screamed and ran to Rick with his bat held high, but Rick kicked him to the ground also. He looked around at all of us, his eyes darting around anxiously, traumatized. The small man scrambled to his feet and ran out the doorway into the hall.

"I got him." Rick put shortly while he crouched and ran after the man. I looked down at the crumpled body on the floor. _He deserved it._ Icringed a little _. No. No one deserves that. But he did, there was no other way around it. Would you stop thinking like that Phor? Jesus, he was still a person._ I shook my head a few times in an effort to get the voice out of my ears. I hoped that he was in prison for something inhumane and barbaric so I wouldn't feel so bad.

"Man, get down on your knees." Daryl jarred me from my thoughts, his. The bald man held his hands up in surrender and slowly bent toward the floor, as did handlebar Pete.

"We don't have no affiliation to what just happened.", Pete pleaded with Daryl, his face trembling. "Tell him Oscar." Oscar. That was the bald man's name.

Oscar just shook his head, "Stop talking, man." Pete looked around, from me to Daryl, to the gun barrel pointed at his face. His shoulders fell in defeat. We all stood there, except those that kneeled, for what felt like an eternity. The silence was deafening, beating on and in my ears every few seconds to remind me that it's still there. After a while Rick returned; alone. It wasn't hard to understand by his face what had happened. Either he killed him or they did. But it didn't matter which scenario played out, we were all thinking the same thing anyway.

 _And then there were two..._

Everything about Rick looked tense if not a little deranged. The blood that covered most of his face, the way his eyebrow twitched every minute or so. It was unsettling to see. He had his gun drawn as he stalked towards Oscar.

"We didn't have nothing to do with that." Oscar put simply.

"You didn't know?" Rick asked sarcastically. He didn't give the man time before he went on, "You knew. Daryl, let's end this now." He moved over to handlebar Pete so quick that I flinched, Daryl abandoned his bow and had his knife at Oscar' throat.

"Sir, sir, you gotta listen to me, please! It was them that was bad. It wasn't us!" Pete pleaded with him.

"Oh, that's convenient." Rick remarked looking more and more like the man I met yesterday and not like the leader he was today.

"You saw what he did to Tiny. He was my friend." Pete started to cry then. "Please, we ain't like that. I like my pharmaceuticals, but I'm no killer. Oscar here, he's a B and E, and he ain't very good at it neither. We ain't the violent kind, they were! Please, I swear to God! I wanna live!" I could see him break in front of me. His eyes were shattered and his shoulder shook with every breath he took. Rick contemplated this for a few moments, then he turned swiftly and his gun now pointed at Oscar.

"What about you?" Rick whispered to the man.

"I ain't never pleaded for my life. And I ain't about to start now. So you do what you gotta do." Oscar said. Memories flooded my vision, blocking the men in front of me.

 _"Okay, new scenario," I said trying to balance and walk on the curb while Keith walked in the street holding my hand._

 _"Shoot." He replied shortly._

 _"Alright. If you left something, let's say your cap." I nodded towards the worn cub scouts hat I'd always see him wear. "Someone found it. But you go back and say it's yours. Now there are no rules in the new world. What would you do for it?"_

 _"I'd get my hat back." he said matter of factly._

 _"It's not that simple Keith, come on play the game right. They say it's theirs and they're not giving it back, would you really get killed over a hat?"_

 _"Well, I sure as hell won't beg for it." He looked up at me and held my curious gaze._

 _"But doesn't it mean a lot to you?"_

 _"A lot of things mean a lot to me, you wouldn't catch me begging for it though. I've never begged for anything in my life. And I'm not gonna start over a stupid hat." He voice got sharper and deep. At times like this, he reminded me some much of our father._

 _"Well then, what about me?" I turned my head towards the long stretch of road ahead of us._

 _"What about you?"_

 _"What if someone didn't give me back then. Threatened to kill me and-"_

 _"Phora, don't." He stopped and let go of my fingers, which made me stop also._

 _"Would you beg for my life?" For a while we just stood there, staring at each other. I knew I had struck a nerve somewhere, but I had to know._

 _"I would beg Sephora if it meant that you'd live. Alright? I would gladly die if it meant you'd see another day. I'd do anything to keep you safe, you know that. So stop asking dumb questions." He started walking again, now with more purpose. And when I caught up with him he held my hand tighter than before._

 _At that moment I knew he meant what he said._

Daryl opened the door to another cell block and the door creaked open before hitting the bars on the windows. Rick pushed in handlebar Pete - who's name I found out to be Axel- towards the bodies that laid in the openings of the cells.

"Oh, man." That was all Axel could say when he saw them. Oscar slowly walked towards Axel as they both gaped at how many bodies there were. "I knew these guys. These were good men." My eyes fluttered closed as I breathed in deeply. _I understand how you feel._

"Let's go." Rick broke the silence that fell on us.

"So you're just gonna leave us in here," Oscar asked in disbelief. "Man this is sick."

"We're locking down this cell block. From now on this part of the prison is yours. Take it or leave it. That was the deal." Rick walked out leaving the rest of us.

"You think this is sick? You don't wanna know what's outside." Daryl added before leaving also.

"Consider yourselves the lucky ones." Rick's voice seemed loud in the quiet.

"Sorry about your friends man." Daryl said sincerely. It was the first thing close to compassion that I heard him say. It made me smile at him while he walked after Rick.

"A word of advice- take those bodies outside and burn them." T-dog added, before leaving me with them. We all stood awkwardly, they were mourning the loss, I was standing there giving them space. But I didn't leave. I knew I should, but there was more I could do. I walked slowly towards one of the cells and grabbed a pair of handcuffed arms. Dragging body after body out, I kept going even after they started grabbing the bodies also. There was no need for words, or "I'm sorries", or "Thank you's". The three of us just worked until there were no more bodies to take.

I looked at both men, they didn't have a clue what to do. They didn't have any experience with the walkers, nor how to protect themselves when the going got tough. They wouldn't survive a day beyond these walls. And Rick just left them for dead.

That's when it finally started to dawn on me... I pity them, I really do. So I left.

 _"Know are you starting to understand now, Phor?"_ Keith asked in the back of my head. _Yeah, I do._

 _I can't stay here._


	9. Chapter Nine

Chapter Nine

When I walked into the cell block, everyone was gathered around a cell. But not just a cell, it was _the_ cell that Hershel- I am almost ninety-nine percent positive that it was Hershel- was in. I suddenly pictured the worse case scenario; that he died and they were all sitting there silently wondering if they should "kill him" before he comes back. I closed my eyes and let out a shaky breath before wiping my hands on my once again blood covered pants.

 _"Well, Sephora, you did the same exact thing twice and expected a different result. Are you insane? 'Cause it sounds like you're pretty bat-shit crazy."_ I pinched my eyes as tight as I could. I couldn't handle this, not again. I have to leave.

I need to find Rick.

I began to speed walk past the cell everyone was stationed at. Just when I thought I was in the clear, I felt a hand on my arm warm to the touch yet my blood froze and I flinched. I knew what was coming next. _"I know you did what you thought was right, but shit doesn't work that way anymore. He suffered before he left, he fought and he lost. Is that really what you wanted? What kind of sick monster are you?"_ I tried to examine how this situation would go down, every kind of outcome, but it always ended with my ass being handed to me and their doors being locked. No; I had to leave before they had a chance to kick me out.

"You're always so tense you know?" I heard the voice behind me, their hands turning me around. When I turned around I was met by the tired face of a woman. And I remembered that tired face from before, kind and sincere. Then I remembered that face was a part of a pregnant body. "We're gonna have to get you another shirt." She whispered, looking me up and down. My eyebrow knitted themselves together as I looked down. I was indeed only wearing my black sports bra and my jeans. _When had that happened?_ A deep, burning blush crept from my feet all the up to my barely covered torso and onto my cheeks. My arms folded themselves across my chest.

"I understand, with everything you were doing it must've been easy to forget you were nearly topless. I'm Lori, I don't think we formally met yet." She had a warm smile on her face. I gave her a weak smile in return but my head only thought about one thing. I had my apology lined up. _I didn't mean any harm, I'm sorry for your loss even though it was my fault, you can hate me all you want cause I hate myself_ ; the whole nine. I took a deep breath through my nose, my words on the tip of my tongue but the crushing hug she pulled me into instantly stopped me. It was tight at first, draining and intense, but she loosened her grip and loosely held her arms around my shoulders. After a while, I could feel her trembling lightly and it wasn't hard to figure out that she was crying.

"Thank you. Thank you for what did." She whispered between her shallow breaths. Wait... what? "If you hadn't done what you did, if it hadn't been for your quick thinking, then..." She trailed off and began holding me tighter. _I'm so confused._ "We can't thank you enough for what you did." _Thank me for what?_ I push her back slightly at this.

"What are you talking about?"

"Hershel." The woman said simply, "Sure he won't be able to walk for a while, but he's alive. And that's a luxury nowadays."

 _Alive?_

 _ALIVE?!_

"Wait, it- he's not... he's alright?" I couldn't help but stumble over my words. It all seemed so foreign to me.

"Yeah, well he's not talking yet and I'm not surprised; he's probably still in shock, but he wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you."

Alive.

I stood there, my mouth slightly ajar and my eyes wide open. My head started shaking slowly but I couldn't control it. I was happy, to say the least, but something in my heart ached. Try as I might I couldn't pinpoint where or what or why I was hurting but it stung. Bad. I was happy that Hershel survived; I still couldn't fully believe it. I was happy that everyone else was happy, they still have their father and friend. But it hurt. Why was I hurting? I know why, I don't want to say or think it, because then that would make me a bad person.

 _"You know what Sephora why don't you just say it."_ Keith prodded. Oh, screw it.

It wasn't fair.

Not a second of it.

Everything played out the same. _A bite on a limb. Check. Said limb would have to be amputated form body. Check. Roughly same amount of time before said limp was fully detached. Check. In both instances, wound resulted in massive blood loss. Passed out from the shock. Check and check._ Yet my Julian died. And their Hershel lived. I shut my eyes and my face formed into a tight smile.

"That's... good. I'm, so happy he's okay."

 _Oh God, I'm gonna be sick._

"If you'd want you can see him, I'm sure he'd appreciate seeing your face."

 _I'd rather die._

"Oh, that's not really necessary."

 _I need to get my shit and leave._

"Honey, I'm sure everyone would love to see you. You did something amazing, for all of us."

 _I can't breathe._

"I shou- It'd be better if I gave everyone their space."

 _Do Not BREAK._

"Sephora you don't have to-"

I didn't hear what she said next because I ran past her and flew up the stairs. In a blur I was in my room; my cell. I close the door before remembering that it locks automatically, but it didn't matter. None of it mattered. I went and fell to the concrete floor between the bed and the wall, space nearly suffocating me. Pulling my legs up until they pressed against my lungs, making it hard for me to breath. My throat burned because of it and I gladly accepted the pain, letting it grow and move to my lungs. I took deep, choked breaths and my eyes frantically moved over every inch of the small space. My body was shaking, hyperventilating with every breath I took. My head started to fog.

 _Ten, nine eig-_

 _Dammit._

 _Ten, nin-_

 _Oh, God._

 _Ten, nine, seven..._

 _Shit._

I began to feel like I was floating on air, my brain throbbing and my eyes blurry. It didn't take long for my eyes to drop to the floor, they've had enough. The blackness behind my eyes was comforting and warm. The abyss I was falling down didn't seem to end and my body gave into the exhaustion. I didn't dream. I hoped I wouldn't, but there was only one thing worse than dreaming.

The nightmares plagued me for the rest of the day.

 _"Why won't you talk to me?" Keith asked, briefly looking at me from his spot behind the wheel. It had been approximately five days, thirteen hours, thirty-seven minutes (give or take a few, yes I've been counting) since Julian passed and I haven't said a word since. I didn't know what to say. "It's not your fault if that's what you're thinking." I inhaled deeply._

 _"No, you know what? It is."_

This wasn't how that conversation went.

 _I turned and looked at him and he met my gaze, his usual soft green eyes blazing with emerald steel. It terrified me._

 _"You know what happened? You wanted him to die. Whatever it was, pity, hate. You did it on purpose." I was gaping at Keith, my mouth opening and closing rapidly like a suffocating fish. How could he say all these bad things?_

This isn't what happened.

 _"And see you won't say shit because you feel guilty. You can't help but feel guilty, he only gave up his whole life to help you, to be with you. You destroyed him but he would never tell you that because he was too good of a person."_

Sephora wake up.

 _He stopped the car abruptly and slammed his fists against the wheel, "Speak dammit!" I flinched and started digging my fingernails into my arm trying hard to concentrate on anything besides his angered voice. He turned towards me with tears in his eyes, "You wanted him not to be in pain I understand that, but why kill him to do that? Do you know how fucking selfish that is Sephora? Do you know how selfish you've been?!" His eyes began to turn such a deep green that it looked black. My mouth hung open, but I couldn't speak, my tears clogged my throat._

Wake the hell up, please...

 _"Answer me!" He yelled before getting out of the car and slamming the door. He walked off and I couldn't see him anymore. Time moved fast now, the clouds sped up and the sun edged toward the horizon. My knees made their way toward my chest and my breath quickened. Night came quick and as soon as it did the car door flew open and something was dragging me out. I kicked and fought, but my screams stayed bottled up in my throat._

 _So this is how I die. This is how it ends._

 _My eyes had trouble adjusting to the darkness outside, but when they did I was met by the face of Keith, my brother. He was bloody in the face, a bite mark on his cheek; gross and nauseating, and others peppered all along his arms and legs. His flesh was already rotting and the blood oozing out of his wounds was as black as the night. He was nearly unrecognizable if not had it been for the black matted hair and the dark green eyes that burned with fury. His hands locked around my neck and he leaned all his weight on his arms. My eyes almost burst out of their sockets and all the air I was breathing abruptly got cut off. My hands clawed at him and he looked up and sighed._

 _"You know little sister, I see now why you did what you did. And it's damn satisfying to watch you go!" His voice rumbled over and over in my mind, I was slowly slipping away, and at the hands of my own blood. My lungs were burning with a different sensation that before. This time it burned with a fire, with confusion and desperation. My mouth gaped and closed, trying to get even the smallest amount of air to the lungs, but Keith was relentless and every time I tried to squirm he pressed down harder. I felt my neck break, the searing pain rendered me motionless and pain shot through my body the instant it did. Finally, I heard my voice, its shrill pitch piercing my ears._

I'm drowning.

I'm dying.

 _The water was cold, chilling my face the moment it touched my went down my throat cutting off my air when it did; oddly it felt good. My eyes squeezed tighter and tighter. My body clenched and loosened. I'm drowning. This is how I go. Not as a hero, not to be remembered but to just ceased to exist. I'm defunct._

 _But wait._

 _I feel movement within my frame. The tiniest amount of movement, starting from my feet to my legs then to my shoulders. They shook, spasming, moving against the water rapidly. The quicker they moved the more I was unwilling to die. It's a strange feeling, not wanting to die. That's when eyes shot open._

"Dammit girl, wake up." I heard a gruff voice mumble. My eyes were blurry beneath my closed eyelids; I didn't even think that was possible. Warm, rough hands were shaking my shoulders, gripping them harder and harder every second my eyes didn't open. The water made its way up back up my throat and I coughed, the liquid spraying over my bare stomach. I looked before me, my eyes wide and still somehow sleep-laden.

"Wha- what..."

"Screamin' in your sleep." As if to indicate his truth, I swallowed down and winced at the feel of my raw throat. I looked up at Daryl's kneeling form, his bed hair apparent, and his shirt slightly open where it wasn't buttoned. We made eye contact and he held out the almost empty water bottle. My shaking hand grabbed it and held it up to my mouth, the cooling liquid flowing down my parched throat. "Bad?" he asked simply as I pulled my legs closer and set the empty bottle on the ground. I nodded and he shrugged.

"I need to talk to Rick." I put after I caught my breath.

Daryl shrugged while getting up.

"Do you know where he's at?"

"Naw."

"But I need to find him." I stood along with him. His eyes traveled the length of my body causing me to wrap my arms tightly to cover my barely covered chest as much as possible.

"Ain't ma problem." He remarked gruffly before leaving me standing in the cell alone, leaving me with my thoughts. I looked down to the wet floor and saw a discarded arrow laying there. The one I pulled out of that Walker. The one that saved my life. I picked it up and held it tightly in my hands. _Daryl would probably want this back, you know._ Right, I walked out the small room and looked around for him, but he was nowhere in sight.

"I'll just give it back when I see him again." I stuck the arrow in the waistband of my pants and started looking for a shirt.

 _"If you see him. And please enlighten me as to why are you still here?"_ Keith rung out in the back of my head. I stopped rummaging through my things and hugged my torso.

"Why won't you leave me alone?" I asked barely over a whisper.

 _"I love you, sis. You think I'd leave you alone in this big, bad world?"_

"I would appreciate it if you did." I held myself even tighter.

 _"You listen to me and I will... okay?"_ I stood there and shivered softly. There wasn't much to be put up for discussion. Everything I went against Keith blew up in my face. I was in pain and steadily growing more unstable. At this point, I didn't really have much to lose.

"Okay."

I made my way outside, donning a shirt I found in another cell. I didn't look very appealing and it clung very loosely to my damp skin, it could've easily been a dress on me, but for now, it would have to do. Walking had been the easy part, getting past everyone else, was an entirely different story. The cell where Hershel was being kept was bustling with life. Beth was there- I noticed Maggie's absence- the pregnant woman; Lori, Carl was there a small smile on his face but I could see that it made its way to his eyes as well. My steps faltered when I saw Hershel say something to Beth; she laughed. I could feel my shoulders fall in a pathetic way like I was trying to shrink. It took me a while to notice that Lori was staring at me. I couldn't quite read her facial expression but it looked as if she was thinking of something distasteful. Her eyes seemed clouded and she visibly sighed before returning her attention back towards Hershel. I was able to make the small distance from there to the door that led to the yard without seeing anyone else.

When the door opened, I had to squint my eyes from the sun that broaden over the horizon lowly. My feet stumbled slightly down the stairs and I held my hand partly over my eyes to shield them from the blinding light. There were several people out in the field talking and pointing and planning. Among them was Rick, his skin already glistening from the thin sheen of sweat accumulating. The ground was pounding underneath my feet with every step as I neared the people, their voices continuously becoming louder. When they saw me the quieted down to a whisper then went mute. Rick; with his hands on his hips, walked up to me slowly.

"Sephora..." He started and ended with a sigh, "You have no idea what you've done for us."

I smiled lightly the corners of my eyes crinkling, but then I remembered why I was there and they fell down again.

"Rick, I came to tell you that I'm leaving, and I would very much like my things back." My voice sounded loud but frail and damaged but all the while determined. It was very confusing. His demeanor changes and his eyes lidded but he kept the same unreadable expression on his face.

"Look, I understand that yo-"

"No!" I said sharply, my voice cracked. I knew if I didn't leave soon my eyes would start watering all over again. "I want to go. And I want my stuff." I said it much firmer, and I could just picture Keith snickering in my head. Rick didn't do or say anything for a while, just staring at me. Finally, he began moving and uttered a small "Okay". I stayed behind him, walking in line the silence was tense but I could already feel a small amount of weight lifted off my chest. I began to breathe a little easier.

"Here's everything, and a few weeks worth of food. If you're careful it should last a while, or until you can find more." His voice seemed strained as he talked but I didn't care. I had my stuff back. My hands started rummaging through the bag on their own accord, feeling the bad stitch job on my jacket, the only other shirt I had. I had to remember to look for clothes when I leave. I felt the long hunting knife Rick must've put in there and the can goods he left me. I kept feeling around until I got to the familiar jagged edges of my tattered journal. I took it out and admired the worn brown leather that cracked in the places it bent. It was the only real thing I had received from my father.

"Thanks." I put the book back into the bag and slung it over my arm. Rick started talking again, but I couldn't hear him; his voice drowning behind Keith's in my mind.

 _"Now was dat so harwd_?" Keith mocked with that annoying baby voice he'd always use _._ I just huffed out a breath of air and turned my attention back to Rick.

"-you're gun back. And a few magazines for it. I still can't thank you enough for what you've done for us. And anytime if you need to come back, you're always welcome. Just tell me when you're ready to leave." He looked at me with a countenance I could only read as gratitude and I could only smile.

He stepped around me and began to leave the cell, walking only a few steps out before I said, "I want to leave in a couple days."

He straightened his shoulders as he turned around and he looked me in the eyes. Rick nodded and continued to walk out, I followed.

The next couple days, I kept to myself. Only leaving out of my cell when necessary. The stares never stopped, but they grew with admiration, and that hurt way more than resentment. When the time came for me to leave, I didn't say goodbye to anyone, I just followed Rick out to the gate.

"Now are you sure about this?" Glenn asked as if he couldn't wrap his mind around it, "because I mean out there is-"

"I know how it is." I cut him off as I stood up from tying my boots and slipped my backpack on. Rick, Daryl, and Glenn came out to open the gate and to "See me on my way" as Rick put it. It seemed a little much to have all them accompany me, but Rick oh so cleverly told me that they needed to gather wood anyway.

"Right, well I mean that you'd be, like... all alone. Willingly."

"Wouldn't be the first time," I added dryly, and repositioned my backpack, it was digging into my skin.

"Yeah but," Glenn started again as he bent down to undo the wire around the cut fence, "We have a lot of resources now. Food, water. You being here isn't going to change that, I mean you aren't getting in the way of anything."

"That's not really why I'm leaving." I sighed and took my backpack off. Something was really piercing me in the back.

"Well, then why are you leaving?" He kept unwinding the wire. I put my gun into the holster on my thigh and slipped my knife in my boot and decided not to answer him. When I didn't reply he stopped and looked at me. If he needed an answer before, the look in my eyes must've stopped him from asking again.

"Oh."

"Looky here," Daryl said as he nodded back towards the prison. We all turned around to look back at Hershel; walking with Lori, Beth, and Carl on crutches. Lori was talking with him, her arm outstretched to be ready if he started to fall. Beth walking equally as cautious next to him and Carl seemed relaxed, his arms swinging at his sides.

Glenn chuckled and stood up, his attention gone from the fence, "He is one tough son of a bitch." He turned back towards me and his smile was genuine, gratuitous to say the least. "All right Hershel!" He all but yelled.

"Shh! Keep your cheers down." Daryl reminded him as he pointed toward the staggering walkers.

"Oh man, can't we just have one good day?"

I held my hands on my waist as I tried to feel what was poking me in the back. I reach behind me and I feel a slender piece in the middle and as it goes up further it goes into a pointed end. The arrow! I raise my shirt and pull it out of my waistband.

 _Okay, how should I do this? What do you mean how just give it to him, you nerd. Yeah, but how? You aren't a fucking teenager Phor, you can give him his shit back without freaking out. No, I know that. Well, act like it. Okay, stop! I'm just gonna tap him on his shoulder and give it to him. Yeah right, and say what? "Oh here's your arrow I totally should've given it to you a few days ago but didn't because I'm a fucking weirdo". Yeah go ahead 'cause that's a solid plan. Why are you making this so difficult just give him the arrow, God you're making me sick with this mushy shit. But we're the same person. Right well just do whatever 'cause I'm pretty sure you're just standing here making US look stupid. Fine. I'll just tap him with it and say 'You forgot this' that's smooth right? Sure, smooth as sandpaper. Do you have a better idea? YEAH JUST GIVE HIM THE FUKING ARROW! Geez, alright fine, but that's equally as weird; just giving him his arrow that I have because... of what? Because you're fucking weird. Yeah, we've established that already thank you. You know what? For all I care, you can take that arrow and shove it up your-_

"You gonna give it back or what?" Daryl gruffed out looking at me, his crossbow in one hand and his other at his side.

Shit.

"Oh yeah, I just... it's the one from a f-few days ago that- I just didn't find the time to give it back." I held out my arm and he took it slowly. "I cleaned it." _Fucking weirdo._ He looked from me to the arrow and sent a grunted shorty before attaching it to the crossbow and looking back towards Hershel, I sighed out in annoyance at myself and turned back towards them also. The all had smiles on their faces. They all looked so happy, and at that thought, my smile slipped from my eyes, then from my face entirely. I shook my head and placed the pack on my back once again.

"I think I'm gonna get goi-"

"Walkers! Look out!" Carl's voice cut me off, my eyes widening as I looked behind them. There were a bunch of walkers behind them, shuffling slowly towards them.

"NO!" Rick yelled as the three of them took off running. My feet stayed glued to that spot as I heard that voice.

 _"No Seph, don't even think about it."_ Keith began to argue in my head. _"Not when we're so close. You are so close."_ I could only faintly hear Rick's voice spewing warnings in the background. And I could only barely see Glenn come back to begin closing the gate again.

 _"I have to help"_ I could hear my subconscious say back and my feet start running. The gunshots become louder and more apparent. The pounding of my boots against the loose gravel become heavier with every step. The weight of my backpack becomes more and more unbearable until I shake it off my shoulders and break out into a full sprint.

"The lock!" Rick screamed as he slid to a stop. I turned around just as Glenn threw it to me and caught it, then I threw it to Daryl who threw it to Rick. In his panicked state he started fumbling with the keys and the lock and in frustration, he yelled out. I pushed him out the way and grabbed the keys, remembering the one they used when we were leaving and opened the gate. He pushed me aside as he ran in beside Oscar and Axel. "Out of my way!" He said and I tossed him the keys and this time he managed to open the second gate quickly.

"Hey Bro, what about us?!" Axel questioned and started to run behind us. We sprinted through the empty field and came up to the last barrier.

"Let's go. Pull it!" Rick said as he unlocked the final fence. He took the first shot at the walkers while Glenn had his machete and Daryl; his crossbow. Hershel and Beth stood up on a locked set of stairs and looked down fearfully at all the walkers.

"What the hell happened?!" Rick asked Beth slowing down considerably.

"The gate was open!"

"Where's Lori, Carl- everyone else?"

"Maggie led Lori and Carl into C Block" Hershel answered.

"And T was bit..." Beth added. Everyone froze. I haven't been here that long and even I could tell that T-Dog was a good man. He didn't deserve it. I held my breath and took a shot from my gun.

"Anyone else?"

"I couldn't tell." Beth sounded defeated.

"Stay put." Rick turned and shot off another round and a walker fell. We all fought until the courtyard was yet again clear. I shook my head at the sudden feeling of deja vu.

"Those chains didn't break on their own. Someone took an ax or cutters to 'em." Glenn's voice was full of uncertainty as we all caught our breath. Rick's eyebrows knitted together before he turned around to look at Oscar and Axel, who both looked confused and scared as hell.

"You think they did it?" Glenn pried.

"Who else?" Rick all but growled. He began to take a step towards them when an ear piercing sounded through the air.

"The hell is that?" I asked as we all looked around to see where it was coming from. The alarm was all around blaring from every direction.

"Oh- you gotta be kidding me!" Daryl shouted in frustration and anger. Every walker for miles could hear that. In a matter of hours, we'd be blocked in. A considering we don't know where the building is compromised, they could very well be walking right into the prison.

"Daryl!" Rick tossed him the keys and shot at one the alarm sounders. We all looked at each other and held our guns up too and shot at the rest of them.

"Kill it!" Hershel yelled, referring to the alarm. Rick frantically shot at the last one near us the pointed at the prisoners.

"How the hell can this be happening?!" Rick, Daryl, and Glenn had their weapons up and ready to strike.

"Woah, woah, woah!" Oscar held up his hand in defense, "It has to be the backup generators."

"Well, how do you turn those on?" Rick pointed to the busted speakers.

"T-there's th-three that's connected to a diesel tank okay? Each one controls a part of the prison. The hacks shut 'em all off when the prison was overrun."

"Can someone open the main gate electronically with full power?" Rick questioned.

"I only worked in there a few days. I guess it might be possible."

Rick yelled then pulled at Oscar's jumpsuit, "Come with us!" We all started running into through the courtyard and into the prison.

The usually dark halls lit up with flashing green lights. The noises were distracting and the harsh lights hurt my eyes. I tried to blink, to somehow shake my head of those memories but the lights were too bright and the alarm was too loud.

 _"PTSD."_

 _The doctor's voice registered in my head but I couldn't say anything back. He was just looking at me with those eyes. Those rich, brown eyes I didn't want to look at but I couldn't help but drown in. Everything about him and this room made me uncomfortable. The weird realistically painted dogs doing human things posted all over the harsh yellow walls that clashed terribly with his red carpeted floor. The paint blots he had strewn across his unusual turquoise desk. His outer space bowtie, matched with stretched out space socks. He was a cry for help if I've ever seen one, and I'm not quite sure how he even became a professional therapist._

 _"Are you listening Sephora?" I looked up from the god-awful carpet and nodded softly. He smiled, which left a chill running down my spine, and continued. "Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. It's when someone who overcomes a-"_

 _"I know what it is," I said quietly. I wouldn't be surprised if he outingly noted that it was the first time I've spoken in the forty minutes we've been here._

 _"Wow, she speaks." He laughed at his joke and I glared at him._

 _"I'm not mute."_

 _"Well, certainly you aren't. It's just the first time you've said anything and we've only got about twenty minutes remaining." I just shook my head and rolled my eyes. I was about to let him have it until Julian, who has been sitting next to me placed his hand on my arm. I turned to him and his eyes said it all._

 _'Be nice.'_

 _'You're joking right?'_

 _'Does it look like I'm joking?'_

 _'I'm trying. That's all I told you I'm willing to do.'_

 _'Try harder, please.'_

 _I exhaled loudly and turned my attention to the bulldog wearing an astronaut suit, ready to go out into the great unknown. Looking at the painting, his tie and socks made a little more sense._

 _"Do you two do that often?" I tore my eyes away from the painting and Julian's from the side of my face to look at the good doctor._

 _"Do what?" Julian's thick southern accent filled with curiosity._

 _"Have full blown conversations with your eyes. It's quite interesting to observe." We just looked at each other and shrugged._

 _"Jus' somethin' that happens I guess," Julian replied, his hand lightly resting on mine._

 _"I take it, you must be very close then?"_

 _Julian looked towards me again and his grip tightens just the slightest bit._

 _"Oh yeah."_

 _"Well then, since we were able to get her to talk we should probably address the elephant in the room. Why are you here Sephora?" The doctor looked at with innocent curiosity._

 _"You know why." I threw back, lounging in the uncomfortable chair. I could see Julian looking at me, those eyes piercing through me._

 _'Cool it.'_

 _I felt my eyes roll and I turn back to the therapist. He smiled in return and-_

"Come on!" A rotting hand ghosts along my shoulder and I pick up the pace, willing my head to focus on what's happening right now. We all crowded the doorway, barely escaping the various limbs trying too hard to get at us.

"Daryl, get the door!" Rick yelled ahead of me. Behind me the door shuts noisily, being held by Daryl and Oscar- who looks scared shitless. My chest heaving broken breaths, both from the running and the sheer terror of it all.

"How do you shut these down?!"

"Go help 'em I got it." Daryl managed to get out making Oscar bolt from the door over to Rick.

"Right here." Oscar motion to the generators and a switch. Rick flipped it yet the alarm still sounded. The nose was pounding in my head making it flair in pain. I could see out of my peripherals, Daryl seeing him struggling to keep the door closed. Without thinking I ran over to him and pressed my entire body against the door. It didn't do much, my small body only delaying the inevitable a little longer but when I caught a glimpse of Daryl's face I knew he was grateful. All of a sudden there was a yell then a shout, the sound of flying sparks, and the sound of a struggle. My attention was split between the door and the others, trying to figure out exactly what the hell was happening.

In my haze of confusion, my feet slipped and I fell to the ground as the door violently swung open. Daryl was the first to react, picking up his crossbow off the ground and shooting a walker down in two seconds flat. He then unsheathed his knife killing another one, and before I could comprehend what just happened, the door was slamming; firmly shutting it. I watched in awe as he caught his composure and crept to the other side of the room. That's when the sight of Oscar holding a gun filled my vision.

"Shoot him! We can take back this prison." A slightly familiar voice spoke in the relative silence. The only sounds other than his voice were the constant groans from the dead and the head-splitting alarm that continued to ring.

"What you waiting for?" The man said, "Do it! It's our house. Shoot him!" Then there's a gunshot and for a minute I think he shot Rick. But then he's turning off the alarm and everything is quiet again. I felt myself let out a shallow breath I did know I held in. Rick glanced at us in understandable relief.

"Let's go."

Turns out the halls are scarier when they're silent. I jumped at every noise and thump of my boots on the concrete. The flashlights are casting eerie silhouettes on the walls and sooner or later my imagination gets the best of me. The four of us are on edge, quickly turning each corner, guns raised and us all on high alert. In the distance, the telltale sign of walkers can be heard, which nowadays seems like a noise that won't ever quiet. Footsteps are apparent and we stop in unison. Daryl with his crossbow raised, Oscar with an ax, and Rick; his python. The footsteps reveal themselves as Glenn and Axel, coming to a stop upon seeing us. They looked how we felt. As a bigger group, we continued down the hallway nothing but moans and soft steps filling my ears.

 _"I hate you, I hate you so much."_ Keith rung out. I let my eyelids close briefly, deciding not to even acknowledge his voice.

The next corner we turn down produces light leading to the outside; a half-eaten body on the floor. Two walkers were noisily enjoying their latest meal standing up when we came into view before Rick planted two bullets into their heads. He came to a halt at the end staring and the disfigured body before him. It was T-Dog no doubt about it, but he was barely recognizable; only identifiable by a small expanse of skin on his neck and the build of his deceased body.

I didn't know him well, only for a few days, but I knew that they had lost a good man. A great man. He was selfless and honorable. They all filed out after grieving for those few precious moments. Me? I stayed and bent down to the body's level.

I allowed the one tear that slipped down my face for him and then walked out, the light overcoming me.


End file.
